From Now On, I'm Putting Myself First

From Now On, I'm Putting Myself First

And why that is not a bad thing.

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I like improvement. I like making things better.

I like a good challenge, as do many people. I find puzzles intriguing. I love doing the New York Times' daily crossword. I literally work at an escape room, where I'm constantly surrounded by puzzles and things that need mending, often requiring quick, on-the-spot thinking.

I love the satisfaction I feel when I figure something out.

I am full of compassion and belief in others. If you were to ask any of my friends, I can almost guarantee they would mention how willing I am, at any given moment, to offer advice or even just a shoulder to cry on. I support every person that enters my life; I encourage them to become their best selves. I shower people with love, always, regardless of who they are. I just love people.

I care way too much about a lot of things, including relationships, friendships, even group projects at school. I have trouble determining when to walk away; sometimes, I don't even have to- people just leave, and I'm left to deal with the brokenness that often accompanies loss (which I guess is like a puzzle, but a really sucky, challenging one).

Sometimes, I let the problems others face take over too much of my own time. I allow myself to get overly invested and attached, which always ends in my getting hurt.

Don't get me wrong- I love who I am. I love who I have become, especially within the past two years of my life. I am my most authentic self, and I think I become closer to who I dream of being with each passing day- but that doesn't mean I'm there yet.

I still have to learn when a relationship does not contribute positively to my journey of self-progression. I still have to learn when it's okay to put my foot down and say no, especially when I'm uncomfortable. I still have to learn how to value my time, how to make the most of each day, and how to love others without allowing them to take over my life. I still have to learn when (and how) to walk away.

I think that although being selfish has a negative stigma surrounding it, it's okay to be selfish sometimes, so long as you aren't losing compassion for others. In fact, I think you have to be selfish sometimes to get the most out of life. If you think about it, you're really the only person who will always be there for yourself. You are the only person who can consciously help yourself grow. I think it's okay to acknowledge that.

So, from now on, I will be practicing a more loving and mindful lifestyle when it comes to myself. I will be more careful who I befriend, who I trust, who I love especially who I love. I will spend more time doing things that benefit me and my future. Yes, I will always care about others; that's not something I ever want to rid myself of- but I want to spend more time dedicating care to myself. I want to learn how to put myself first. I want to be able to realize when I'm being treated in a way that equates to less than what I deserve, and I want to be able to walk away from it without a second thought.

And in the end, I know I will be better for it.


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10 Bible Verses for Self Esteem

Sometimes you need to search for inner strength and find your own self worth.
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We all get those days that we just don't feel good enough for anything. Everything is going wrong. For me, I go to the bible to read the words of God. His personal dialog for us is filled with encouragement, hope, and lessons we can learn from. Here are my top ten verses that are uplifting and impacting when at the lowest of lows:

1. Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.

2. Psalm 46:5

God is within her, she will not fall.

3. Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

4. Psalm 28:76

The Lord is my strength and my shield.

5. 1 Corinthians 25:10

By the grace of God, I am what I am.

6. Romans 5:8

I loved you at your darkest.

7. Psalm 62:5-6

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.

8. 2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

9. 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

10. 2 Chronicles 20:15

The battle is not ours, but God's.

Cover Image Credit: chinadaily

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Self-Reflection Is Always Beneficial

Always ask yourself how you can improve your life.

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Self reflection is an important part of growing up. It is important to sit back and think about who you are and who you strive to be. I think that dwelling on the past too much can be extremely harmful, but that a little bit of reflecting on your past can be great.

Think about it, every choice you have made in your life so far has led to where you are now. Every single choice, no matter how small it may have seemed, has had a major impact on your entire life. The choices we make definitely change the path that we take.

Most likely, every friend you made changed your outlook something. Every place you went to will remain in your memories. Maybe you experienced something because of certain choices that led you to learn a valuable lesson.

Maybe those dreadful things of your past needed to happen to allow you to grow. No one deserves to hurt, but sometimes hurting then healing can be replenishing.

I think we should value our lives because they are so unique. No one on this earth will have had the same experiences you have. Even if someone was following you around 27/4 or was literally joined at the hip with you, they would not have the same life as you, because their thoughts would be different from yours and their perspective would be different as well.

You will never get the same day twice, so it is important to make every day the best you can make it. Try to laugh in stressful situations. Try to breathe when there seems to be no air left for you. It is vital to keep moving forward. If you look back, you'll trip on everything in front of you. Do not look into your past and examine your mistakes negatively. We grow from mistakes. We live and we learn. Use those mistakes as a study guide to become a better you. Use your past to your advantage and try to give yourself a better future.

It is important to know that life is a roller-coaster with twist and turns, peaks, and sudden drops that will make you feel sick to your stomach and scared for what's waiting at the bottom. But if you fear life, you will never enjoy the fun parts.

Look back and examine yourself but don't write a novel about your mistakes. Move past them and live a better life. Spread love, be kind, and be grateful for what you have overcome. Those hurdles you went through have only made you stronger.

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