Several days ago, President Barack Obama had an article published in Glamour entitled “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like.” I realize that many of the people who read my articles won’t read a single thing penned by the President, but I honestly think that if you only read one, this is the one to read. And while I too disagree with him on many different aspects, I couldn’t help but feel proud while reading this article because the President proved what I’ve always known: men can be feminists.
The very first article I ever wrote was on why I consider myself a feminist. I detailed my experience with gender discrimination and how those experiences opened my eyes not only to a bigger issue of toxic masculinity, but to the experience of being a women in our society— something I'd never even thought about. I explained that I believe in the goal of feminism; the cultural, social, and political equality of everyone regardless of gender of sexual identity. I committed myself to the fight and urged everyone I knew, man or woman, to join the fight.
In his essay, President Obama reflects on his experience juggling being a dad of two daughters and serving in the government. He makes a point to mention that while he juggled, Michelle did so much more and thus the lion’s share of raising his daughters fell unequally to her.
He discusses how being the father to two daughters has made him acutely aware of the stereotypes our society foists onto young girls from an early age, quoting Shirley Chisolm “The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, ‘It’s a girl.’ ” He acknowledges that while the worst stereotypes are directed at girls, no gender is immune to them.
All of these things are the things I’ve been ranting about for years. I detest the stereotypes that society places on young women because I’ve seen the damages they cause in all of my female friends. I’ve also seen the damages of toxic masculinity on the males in my life including myself.
President Obama shares his experience with feeling trapped by what he was told it meant to be a man, and feeling truly happy when he focused on performing his own brand of masculinity. This experience resonated with me on a deep level. I don’t know how much time I wasted trying to fit myself into a mold that I just wasn’t meant to inhabit.
A good chunk of the essay is dedicated, in parallel structure (#ThanksHighSchoolEnglish), to calling for an end to the attitudes that pervade our culture and our understanding of what it means to perform gender. He calls for an end to “the attitude that raises our girls to be demure and our boys to be assertive, that criticizes our daughters for speaking out and our sons for shedding a tear. We need to keep changing the attitude that punishes women for their sexuality and rewards men for theirs.”
He implores that, “we need to keep changing the attitude that permits the routine harassment of women, whether they’re walking down the street or daring to go online. We need to keep changing the attitude that teaches men to feel threatened by the presence and success of women”; touching on the experience of harassment many women feel in their daily lives from simply trying to live.
He also hits on the particular experience of being a black woman in America. He shares Michelle Obama’s experience of finding success on her own, but still feeling that she had to look or act the right way so not to come off as too assertive or angry.
The point in the essay where I felt the most pride was when he called on the men reading the article to take up arms as feminists too saying, “It is absolutely men’s responsibility to fight sexism too. And as spouses and partners and boyfriends, we need to work hard and be deliberate about creating truly equal relationships.”
He ends by painting an optimistic picture of the rapidly changing attitudes towards gender performance that my generation has brought about. From the men who’ve joined the It’s On Us campaign, to the women who’ve started serving as Army Rangers, change is happening.
As I’ve already stated; this essay made me feel pride. But more importantly, it made me feel refreshed. Often times I feel as if I’m the only male who sees the value in truly empowered women, at least enough to identify as a feminist. I’ve stated that I want to add my voice to the roar, but I’m at a point where I feel I’m the only one roaring.
Because of this essay, I’m reminded that I’m not alone. There are other men out there who see what I see. Men like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Daniel Radcliffe, Patrick Stewart, John Legend, Jon Hamm, Seth Meyers, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Prince Harry, Ryan Gosling, and Will Smith, just to name a few, and now President Barack Obama.
I attribute a large part of the lack of male feminists, and female feminists for that matter, to the significant progress we’ve made in the last 100, 50, and even 10 years.
As President Obama points out, gone are the days when women were limited to a few poorly paid jobs. Now women make up half the workforce— and are dominating at it! Women have won the right to their own bodies and to make their own choices. Women used to need their husband’s signature to get a credit card, now more women than ever before are financially dependent.
These really are hugely significant increases for women everywhere, but we’re not done. The feminist movement isn’t just about getting tangible rights for women, it’s about making a world where anyone can do what they want regardless of how they identify.
I don't think I did a good job of doing it the first time, so this time I am officially calling every man to join me and the other men I listed in this very important fight. We’ve come far, but we’ve got so much farther to go. Join our ranks as feminists. I don’t mean as feminist-allies, or anything short of a full-fledged card carrying, 100% feminist.
We as men already have the floor to have our ideas heard, let's use that power for good for once and do something to help our mothers, sisters, friends, aunts, cousins, wives, girlfriends, grandmothers, godmothers, teachers, doctors, lawyers. Let's do something for our fellow humans.
