There is undeniably a great power that instills within you once you begin and further the healing processes of the traumas you've endured.
For just over a month I have been seeing a new therapist, who is trained in taking a more aggressive approach towards healing after traumas. Her private practice is in leading EMDR sessions, which stands for "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing." Through the processing, the trauma is able to be unraveled into adaptive information. Whereas, before, the trauma was sitting there as maladaptive information continuously waiting to be surfaced.
I think of my brain as a file compartment, in which the adaptive (processed) information knows which folder to file into. The maladaptive information, which is yet unprocessed, isn't able to associate itself with any specific folder. Therefore, since it's sitting out open in my brain, I am continuously reminded in a negative, disorderly way.
I used to find myself drying my hair or doing my makeup, when all of a sudden I'd be focused on a past trauma without any trigger whatsoever. I now understand why.
I haven't experienced irrational episodes of grief or anger over the things I didn't have control of in the past. I'm learning to take back the power I've always had, even when I felt out of control.
I am yet only in phase one of the eight phases of EMDR therapy, and have already been showing great progress. I CANNOT WAIT to see how transformed my life becomes.
Talk to someone. Not just anyone, but someone who is professionally trained. You will be understood. There is hope. There is help.
For more information on EMDR therapy, check out the EMDR Institute's website at http://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/.
To find someone in your area that is a professionally trained therapist/psychologist/counselor check Psychology Today's website at https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms.