As far back as I can remember, I've struggled with the way that my body looked. I specifically hated my arms and legs and felt they were too big. I hated the way I looked in a bathing suit, I hated how fat I felt when I sat down. I remember once I thought to myself, "I wish I could have some sort of surgery to remove the fat from my thighs."

I was 8 when I first thought this.

It's no uncommon fact that girls and boys are influenced by a young age by someone bigger than their parents on what they should do, act like, look like. I've always been called beautiful from my mom and the ladies who went to my childhood church. And in part, I did believe them. I would gain a confidence that would soon be shattered by comparing myself to others. I lost sight of what made me beautiful by trying to fit into a standard of beauty that was not me.

I forgot how to love myself. I began to focus on small aspects of my body that seemed wrong and ugly. For awhile, the focus of disgust revolved around my arms. I thought they were too pudgy and the rolls around my armpits made me want to scream.

I was taking pictures of myself for a new profile picture and I realized that because I was wearing a tank top and I could clearly see my rolls and how big my arms were (or at least how they seemed they were at the time), that I could not use the photo.

Then I thought "Hey my pudgy little arms are hella cute and I shouldn't care about my under arm roll" I posted the picture and, shortly after, decided to do something else. I decided to focus on what I like about the parts of my body that I hate. I sat down and wrote out things about myself that I loved and over time, I turned my hatred for my own flesh into a confidence in who I was.

It took me 11 years to not only accept my bigger legs and arms but embrace them and love them. It's what God gave me. Sure, I could work them out every day in order to achieve a thigh gap, toned calves, smaller thighs, toned arms, and a smaller frame, but my intentions would be all wrong. I would be doing it for others, not myself.

I now love my thunder thighs. I adore my calves that I can never fit into knee-high boots. I love the scars that grace their presence when I wear shorts. I've accepted the cellulite and the stretch marks that adorn my upper thighs and lower hips. I like that my arms freckle when I stay in the sun too long and I like how I have tiny wrists that make my bracelets jingle when I talk with my hands. I love how curvy my arms make me look. I like how my collar bones show ever so slightly.I love who I am, regardless of weight, jean size, or skin tone. And you know what? I'm not a single bit conceited for thinking those things. Why?

Because body positivity, that's why.

Body positivity is knowing that you're doing your best and appreciating what you have and who you are. It is not skinny shaming or body bashing. It's not giving up on being healthy, either. It's making physical and mental decisions that say "I love myself and I'm going to be nice to my body and my mind". It's choosing to wear your favorite top despite what fashion blogs say about your body type and that type of top.

It's choosing to make better choices for your body, nutritionally, actively, and mentally; not because you want to lose 5 pounds, but because you're a beautiful, wonderful human being and you deserve to live longer. It's deciding to eat that block of dark chocolate because you had a long day and you don't feel like counting calories to stay trim. It's deciding to give yourself a break when you need it.

It's loving your body despite the number on the scale, stretch marks, your cup size, your lack of muscle tone, your clothes size, the things that jiggle, and the parts you wish would go away. And I may be completely wrong about this whole thing, but I do know that you have to love who you are and what you've been given. You have to do what is best for you, physically and mentally. But most importantly you have to love, care for, listen to, and be content with your body.

See, if you love who you are, it makes it a whole lot easier for you to love others and for them to love you as well. When you're not focused on the way you look anymore, it gives you room to acknowledge others and give them the attention that they need.

Something that has always comforted me is something that my brother told me a long time ago. He was comparing the beauty of mountains, flowers, sunsets, and desserts. He said, "Isn't it odd how girls all want to look the same because they think only one thing is beautiful? We look at a mountain and see its beauty and the same with flowers. They're both amazing but in different ways. Just like people." He probably does not remember saying this to me, but I remember it well. There is no one standard of beauty.

I say all of that to say this; love yourself and Rock what you got, hon. Trust me.