I am a sports fan. I certainly don't play sports -- my physical genetics and life of sloth have made sure of that, but I am a fan. As such, I tend to make sports-related comments in everyday conversation. But I go to Willamette. And so, with depressing reliability, my sports comments are greeted with a short silence, a fake smile, and eventually the same exclamation every time: “Sportsball!”

I’m not sure when the word achieved its current popularity. Its appeal is understandable enough, sportsball offers a mildly self-deprecating and therefore cutesy expression of one's lacking knowledge of or interest in the subject. Great! You don't have to like sports. But it does get old, and it's time to adopt a more mature vocabulary.

Think of one of your favorite hobbies. Maybe you're into art, or hiking, maybe you're a music major, a tech person, a chef, whatever. People generally like to talk about these things. Now, say you casually bring up your passion or hobby in what seems like a relevant moment in a given conversation. Silence. "ARTPAINT!" "SONGHORN!" "SPATULA!" We've all experienced this to some degree. But imagine hearing that response every single time, followed by the death of your conversation. That is the curse of the lib arts sports fan.

It's time to get the student body involved. Pick a sport. Any sport! Think of your hometown. Your home team. Don't have a team? Pick a team, any team! Pick a friend or relative's team. Watch a game! Who knows, you might even have fun. Maybe you love it, maybe it mildly piques your interest and you want to learn more. Maybe you hate it, maybe you're so bored and thoroughly disengaged that you pray for every commercial break because you'd rather listen to a lizard sell you car insurance than Bob Costas tell you about Le'Veon Bell's latest injury report.

Or, maybe, you're disgusted by the inherent promotion of violence and the patriarchal structure of the leagues' management and media presence. Look at that -- you've formed an opinion! And you're all the more well-rounded for it.

College is for growing up and learning new things. Do you see yourself at a dinner party in 10 years yelling "MOUNTAINWALK!" at a guest who tells you that she likes hiking? Or do you tell her, "Yes, I've gone hiking a few times, it's not really for me, but I know a lot of people who really enjoy it. Where are some of your favorite sports?"