Throughout my life I have developed the bad habit of trying to please everyone. Now, I'm aware that there are habits that are much worse than being a people pleaser, but I found that trying to please everyone was just as exhausting and unhealthy as most bad habits. The problem with being a people pleaser is the plain and simple fact that it is impossible to please everyone.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be on everyone's good-side, and it made me extremely uncomfortable when I felt like someone was unhappy with me. This often led me to be weak, and I would go out of my way for people just to make things feel right again. It wasn't until I started college when I realized that I had a serious problem with trying to please everyone. I couldn't say no to people that needed my help, and I felt guilty if I said no. I felt obligated to put their needs before mine, and most of the time it was for people that would never do the same for me. I was completely exhausted from all the commitments I would make, and I often laid in bed at night regretting how much I took on that day.

When it came to changing my people pleasing ways, learning how to say no with conviction was one of the hardest parts. To this day, I still find myself beating around the bush, or pausing before I decline, but I've learned how important it is to have some authority with my response. It also is good to feel like I have a backbone, and a choice in whether I want to help someone out or no.

If you find yourself struggling to tell people no, it's important to remember that it's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. Don't feel obligated to fix everyone's problems, because in the end this will just burn you out. Trust me I know it feels nice, to be the problem solver, but that's not anyone's job. It's impossible to make everyone happy, so just make yourself happy and say no.