About a week ago, two teenaged guys walked into the store where I work and my coworker greeted them. One started shopping but his friend just stood there for a minute looking my coworker and I up and down while we worked. Their conversation went like this:
“Dude, what are you doing?”
“Checking out the merchandise.”
“Eww. Dude, stop. Look at these J’s.”
They walked away to look around. My coworker and I were actually amazed that this guy would say that loud enough for us to hear. We were even more amazed as he blatantly flirted with our other coworker when she cashed him out about 20 minutes later. She was obviously uncomfortable but she kept smiling and he kept flirting.
Looking back, I’m not sure why we were so amazed. Men are bold. It’s hard to be a woman working in retail and go a day without someone mistaking customer service for flirting and flirting back. Cashiers, waitresses, anyone who deals with customers all day inevitably have someone try to flirt with them.
Here’s the deal: when I do my job, I am not flirting with you. When I ask you if you found everything alright and I smile, I am not flirting with you. My feet hurt, I’m hungry, I’ve been asking people the same three questions all day long, I’m probably sweating and I’ve started at least three different projects that haven’t been finished. I’m still going to put a smile on my face because that’s my job. Chances are my coworkers and I played “nose-goes” to decide who was going to cash you out. I work in customer service and my job is to be friendly. My job is to make sure you find what you want. My job is to cash you out and get you your change and your receipt and your clothes and to do it all with a smile and a chipper voice.
Kindness is not flirting. A smile is not flirting. Those things are customer service and that is my job. That is your waitress’ job. We are working and we are not flirting with you.
The worst thing about having a customer flirt with you is that you can’t walk away. In a normal situation where flirting isn’t out of place, like at a party, generally if someone doesn’t want to continue flirting, they can walk away. When someone is working, they can't walk away from a customer. Maybe, if I’m lucky and one of my coworkers is around I can come up with an excuse to trade places but that’s very rare and I feel trapped and uncomfortable when someone is flirting with me from the other side of the counter.
Here’s what it comes down to: when a cashier or waitress smiles at you or is friendly, they are doing their job. When you flirt with your cashier or waitress, you are likely making them uncomfortable. You are also trapping them in a place where they are uncomfortable because their job demands they cannot walk away.
In short, when you flirt with a cashier or a waitress, you’re being a jerk. That’s all.
