Dear Barbara,

As a wife, and more importantly as a Mother, you should be ashamed of yourself. Especially as someone who has so consistently preached the idea that true love takes work, but it's worth it, the fact that you can just dismiss your son's feelings for who you believe better encompasses your idea of a daughter-in-law is something I cannot understand. As a wife you should know that unconditional and whole-hearted love is what survives the lengths of marriage. As a Mother above all else, you should do everything in your power to make sure your children will never settle for less than they deserve - or less than they desire. If it is not clear from the differences in your son's interactions with these girls, it should be clear in his response to your badgering - he does not know why he can't let a specific one go. But he simply can't. Above all else, that right there should be your clarity. Clarity that no matter what positives other relationships may offer, the unexplainable pull towards this specific relationship is his heart choosing over the head. Love is not a calculation, it is a force.

The second concern I have for you, above anything else, is your character. Not only as a wife and Mother but in this case as a grown woman, it is embarrassing to watch the manner in which you belittled and attacked a strong and intellectual woman whom your son is in love with. No, spirituality is not the same as religion. However, if nothing else the two are deeply aligned in their roots. To question another woman's morals, her belief system, and directly compare her actions to those of other women in her same position, is repulsive. I was absolutely disgusted watching the engagement you had with a woman who could one day be a part of your family. It was disrespectful, ignorant, and judgemental. This young woman's response to your stinging words were nothing but honest and real, and yet you continued to be blinded by her faith-driven choices. Again I echo your own words back to you - if real love is worth fighting for, why not support your son's heart and help him in his fight?

Third, and definitely worst of all Barbara, you disrespected and disgraced your son on live television. Even on a reality show such as the Bachelor, the audience knows there is a line that definitely cannot and should not be crossed. There comes to be an extent of drama that should be handled when cameras stop rolling, behind the scenes. You did not just cross that line - you obliterated it. To continue to harass and call this woman out on live television, even after your son (and seemingly enough your husband) begged you to stop, shows your true colors. It was unnecessary, unprovoked, and merciless. No one asked you to get up and lie, or hide your opinions, that much is clear from the original airing of the episode. But problems that run as deep as you feel they do should not be aired out as dirty laundry in front of an entire nation you know is watching. No Mother worthy of their child's respect would ever go to those lengths to hurt them.

The only hope I have for your son and his future is that he never again listens to your stark and misguided opinion. As I watched him stand up to you last night, and call out your exaggerated emotion as "unfair", I pray that he follows his own heart. The voice inside his head seems a lot clearer on what he deserves than the shrill, tearful wail of your big-mouthed opinion. At this point only time will tell what happens with Peter. As for you, I think a nation's resentment is enough embarrassment for a while.

Sincerely,

Another strong and intellectual young woman who hopes to never face a mother-in-law like you