When it comes to food, I'll eat almost anything. Movie genres? I like 'em all. Ask me what kind of ice cream flavor to share, and I'll tell you I don't discriminate. Now, when it comes to dating? That's something I'm particular about.
Let’s face it—dating in 2018 is weird enough as it is. The "hook-up" culture has dominated in recent years, with the help of social media and apps like Tinder. Personally, that's just not my thing. I prefer emotional investment over physical investment.
Then, we have those types of relationships that aren't technically relationships yet still feel like relationships. All these do is lead to confusion, and ultimately, someone is left hurt.
Finally, we have those rare creatures that want a normal, healthy relationship (unheard of, I know). I'm one of those rare creatures. Although even then, I'm not just going to date someone for the sake of dating them. If I'm with you, it's because I see some sort of future with you, not because I want to change my relationship status on Facebook.
Now that the dating pool is narrowed, it should be easy for me to find a guy, right? No luck so far, but I'm not worried. I know what I want, and more importantly, what I deserve. Does that make me picky? If that's what you want to call it, then sure. The way I see it is, I'm doing myself a favor.
Women and men alike may often get shamed for being "too picky" when it comes to who they're attracted to, and I've never understood why. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you like. If anything, having a strong idea about the types of personalities or looks you're attracted to saves you from wasting your time. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving people a chance. But, if I come to realize that we don't have the same sense of humor or that your Spotify library consists solely of rap music, then I don't see a reason to continue the possibility of a romantic connection.I don't care if you're 6'4'' and chiseled like a Greek God; if we're out to eat and you're rude AF to our server, I'm already thinking about how I want to politely tell you this isn't going to work out. You tell me you're "uncomfortable" with me going out with my friends? Peace out dude. Oh, and the door is over there if you want to come at me with how Trump is the greatest thing to happen to our country."Oh, but he's so hot!" "He seems so sweet though!" "But you guys look so cute together!" "Maybe if you get to know him more, you won't even notice..."
That's the problem though. It's great that he's hot. It's awesome that he's sweet. But what's the point of looking cute together if we have nothing in common? If you're not vibing with someone right off the bat, why draw it out? This only creates a more toxic situation. You'll start to try and change who that person is, which is doing an injustice to both you AND the other person. You shouldn't be trying to "fix" someone into the person you want them to be. It's tempting, I know, but it never works out.
Call me too picky, too critical, too judgmental, or whatever it is you think I am. But after plenty of mediocre dates, boring texts, and confusing not-relationship relationships, I've become so much more in touch with what I'm interested in—and there’s absolutely no problem with that.
