Let's face it, we all do it. We all remember our first kiss, our first heartbreak, the first bad grade we ever got in a class, our first year of college, our wedding... It's all of the little or big things that make or break you that continue to linger in your soul. You can't help it, yet you can't overcome it. People tend to ask why you can't just let go of the past. Why is it so hard for you to move on?
They just don't understand. It is a part of you, and every time it is brought up it feels like you're being stabbed with a knife and that wound is never going to heal. The more people bring it up the more you remember, and it hurts.While you might not forget what happened, there are some things that you can do that will help.
1. You are NOT that person anymore
Cut the ties, break the chains, use whatever analogy that helps you move on! If you keep reminding yourself of all the mistakes you made, then it will keep defining you in the future. Get used to other people bringing up that time in your life, because most of the time they experienced it with you and are just as scared as you are. If you get defensive it will only make matters worse. It's okay to admit that you needed help, that you weren't yourself, but move on.
2. People will see that you are changing
Just because someone doesn't mention how good you are doing doesn't mean that they don't notice. Most of the time they don't want to bring it up just because they are trying to be sensitive. But trust me, they notice. You are obviously better, you are obviously doing good things with your life, so embrace it. Stop thinking that everybody is out to get you because, in reality, they're not. You just tell yourself that they are.
3. Forgive yourself and trust in God
This is probably one of the most complex issues that come along with being stuck in the past. It's hard to forgive yourself for making bad decisions and hurting the people closest to you. It's also to trust that God knows what He is doing and there is a reason you went through that experience. It is supposed to teach you, help you learn and make you understand that He has a plan for you. If you let go of all of your burden, He will take it from you. So let Him.
4. Breathe
This is probably the most important part. Literally, just breathe. In and out. Inhale and exhale. Everything takes time, especially moving on. If you're ashamed or embarrassed it is sometimes even harder. Time tells all, and that is 100 percent true.
It's okay to be ashamed of something you did in the past, but you have to move forward. You have to keep going because if you are always stuck in the past then you can never move on into the future. It will affect your life in ways you can't imagine, so don't let it consume you. Learn, adapt and move forward.
