The Jumbled Perfectionist

Why does it feel like the world is spinning in a thousand different ways? Why does it feel that life as we know it may be a compete lie. I am experiencing this right now, in the present day due to how many places I work at and how many hours I am working; or maybe its just everything all at once? I don't know if maybe I thought my superpowers are greater than I realized they were? Maybe I am just worried about being a disappointment to people or maybe I just don't want to disappoint myself?

The idea of disappointing other people makes my soul unhappy. I feel like I am not being the perfectionist that I expect myself to be. Why do I expect myself to be perfect? To be honest I don't really know. I just have extremely high standard for myself. I want to be perfect! It's almost like I need to be perfect. Maybe because I don't want to disappoint my parents, or maybe it's because I don't want to disappoint my dead brother, or maybe I just don't want to be an imperfect human. But, in reality we are all imperfect humans.

Maybe its my thoughts being so jumbled tonight. Or, maybe I am just extremely into being a perfectionist. But, I need to not be so hard on myself and just remember I am still human after-all.

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