Perfect Relationships Do Exist

Perfect Relationships Do Exist

And You Can Have Them Too!

First I must say that the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. So investing your time and energy into getting to know yourself and delving deep within a self-examining journey is key to creating great relationships.

I have been told that I am very good at giving relationship advice and many people are shocked to know how many close personal relationships I have (I have a large group of friends from all walks of life and age groups). So people ask me how do I do it? How can I keep track of every one?

My answer is simple: Connect first and foremost and come from a place of Fairness, Love, Balance, Respect and ultimately from a “treat other people the way you want to be treated”. When you come from those spaces, not only do you connect on a deeper level with the person, but you also create authenticity, honesty and clarity as well and you don’t have to “keep track” of anyone. Great relationships will just naturally come into your life with grace and purpose.

The secret to having deep and meaningful relationships is to have at the base of your relationship a foundation of self-expression and being heard. Without these, fear will rule any relationship. One of our basic innate needs as human beings is the need to be heard. We might not agree on things, but just as long as someone heard us, we feel good. This will apply to your romantic relationships and your business relationships as well, as when you are respectful, thoughtful, clear, authentic and just all around transparent, you will build long lasting and fruitful relationships with people.

Through the years I have learned to discern those who will treat me the way I expect to be treated and those who won’t. This discernment must be exercised and practiced in order to create the best relationship. Just because someone is in front of you does not mean you must enter into a relationship with them. I had to weave through and examine my past non working relationships, whether they were romantic, friendships, business related or just momentary, in order for me to figure out how to surround myself with the relationships I wanted: deep, non-judgmental, self-expressed, loving, open and caring.

Here are 3 tips for having “perfect” relationships across the board:

1. Principles:

Be very clear on your principles from which you operate and use them every time you make a decision. If you have to list them, do so. Make a list and then prioritize the top 3-5 most important principles. Mine are: Love, Compassion, Authenticity, Inspiration and Beauty.

2. Ideal Relationships:

Once you are clear on your top 3-5 principles, make a list of the types of relationships you want to have. Divide your relationships into 4 categories: Romantic, Family, Friends and Business. List the qualities of the people you want to be in relationship with in each category and then watch for those people as they come into your space. If you are one of those people who does not get along with a lot of people I suggest you look inside and see what unresolved issues these relationships might be triggering and write a list of those things along with the qualities of those relationship that you don’t want and then burn it (the list) to release it and get them out of your system.

3. Making a Shift:

Notice the people you are now meeting and check them with your principles and relationship list. You will notice a nice shift from what has been previously in your life. Continue to be aware of your principles and relationship types so that more of those you want come into your life. If you are not seeing a change, there is more inner work you must do before a shift can be made, so go back to 1 and start over. Or seek support from a coach, mentor or grounded friend, so you can create the perfect relationship with anyone!

Deep relationships are amazing and strong relationships are necessary to live a fulfilled life. Everyone you meet can fit into a relationship area and can be held to your standard of that area. You are in charge! You decide what kind of a relationship to have with the people in your life. Some you will keep closer and others at arms length, loving all where they are at including yourself! Just remember to do the 3 steps and you too can have the perfect relationship with anyone!

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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