"Am I ever going to get anywhere?"
"What kind of future am I going to have?"
"Does this arbitrary class or test determine my entire future?"
These are anxiety-ridden questions that I'm sure each of us has asked at some point. Lately, I've been asking myself, "Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I SUPPOSED to be doing?" But I came to this realization: why am I so worried?
Yes, it's nice to have a plan laid out for you to follow. It's nice to have some sense of direction of where you want to go with your life. It's also okay to think about where you're going, but the problem comes when that is all that you do. This is where I found myself. I was, and sometimes still am, constantly questioning myself and the steps I've taken in my life. Wondering whether or not I'm in over my head, or if the path I'm on will lead me to failure.
I found that the solution for this was to stop questioning my life, and to actually start living it. It's best to keep moving forward, even if you do feel lost. If you stop, you gain nothing. If you keep moving and it turns out you went the wrong way, at least you learned. At least you went ahead of everyone else, and at least you tried. To me, trying is the best thing you can possibly do. There are many people who don't try. There are those who don't take the major risks, ask the tough questions, or don't think of the tough answers. They don't do these things, yet ridicule the person who does try these for being a failure.
As I try to be the fearless one who fails and tries not to care who criticizes me for it, I also have small hints of doubts when I attempt things. As for right now I am still moving forward with certain projects. Every now and then I give myself time to think of my next move, but never for too long, or else I become trapped in the fear of moving at all. But I know I have to keep moving because there is still so much left to do.
It's always going to be scary, but that's okay. Taking a risk, and trying to figure out your life is always a fearful thing. But to live, we must try. Standing idly by makes us a background character in life's storybook. Be the main character. I say this, but I don't mean it in a selfish way. You must also continue to think about what is best for others. Because we are all in this together.
I'm still young so I still have time to think, dream, and act. Nonetheless, people in my life are still going to constantly ask for my plans, or ask what I want to be. If this you right now, it's okay to say "I don't know." You'll figure it out, and eventually those people who keep questioning you will be blown away by what you've done. You just have to keep trying.
If you're like me, and you're still afraid to even though you are trying your best, keep searching for ways to stay encouraged. Think for a bit, try, fail a few times, succeed, then keep moving. I've realized the worst thing we can do is be idle for too long. Sometimes you might have to take a step back, and that's okay because sooner or later you're going to be taking large steps forward.
