Have you ever called a person a tool? Have you ever stopped to think about what that actually implied? As humans, we’re not created to treat others or be utilized as tools. In our time of existence, we’re called to create–-relationships, memories, lasting impressions, inventions. But so many times we look at each other as resources we can extort, manipulate and destroy. Even the most beautiful things we can experience can be twisted into something completely meaningless and harmful.

What does treating someone as a tool even mean? If you’ve ever used tools, you know their purpose–they’re simply used to complete a job or task. When you allow people to believe, even for a second, that they mean something to you that they never have and never will, you have become a spontaneous handyman, wielding your tools at your whim to satisfy the needs that can’t be filled with such trivial and meaningless interaction.

I’ve been reflecting on how I want to write this and a couple of things came to mind when I asked myself how I could stop treating people as means to an end.

What if someone treated someone you care about the way that you’re treating someone else? For example, say you’re no longer in a relationship with someone but you still deeply care about them. Would you want someone treating them like a meaningless rebound (putting aside all thoughts leading to whether they deserve it or not)? For me, the answer is definitely no. So why should I put anyone through that?

Instead of treating people as tools, we should care for each other with tools–ie respect, patience and genuine love. We can’t expect ourselves to be able or willing to commit to everyone that comes into our lives, so why take on that appearance to anyone that lavishes us with affection or attention?

Tools are things, people are beings. When we start to love, we put “human” back into “being”–-and that’s what we were created for.