I probably wrote the intro to this article about 4 different times. I was going from “How do I make this as interesting as possible?” to “Just get to the point already”. What prompted me to write this was looking back at screen shots of series of conversations with exes and crushes. I couldn’t help but spend hours picking apart little details. And I by details, I mean deciding if “hey” is different from “hi” and what things would be like if I had just said something else. Overthinking is truly a blessing and a curse and those of us that do it can vouch for that.

To say that it is extremely exhausting having an over-thinking brain is an understatement. Those quiet and unnecessary thoughts take over and hurt people we love in the process. It’s not a simple matter of “shutting your brain off”. We can’t help but get lost in the corners of our minds. We’re convinced that if we run over the details a few more times, it will somehow change the outcome and we’ll uncover new understanding of the situation.

But while a lot of us are working so hard on “letting go”, know that you are not alone and we all get it.

Posting Anything Online Is the Worst
If I post this at this time, will anyone see it? Is it too early and will everyone still be sleeping? What if nobody likes it? If that person I knew from middle school came across my account today, would they think I’m doing better than them? God forbid someone unfollows or unfriends me because I won’t rest until I figure out who it is and why. Am I actually annoying?

Sleeping and Showers Are the Worst
I love sleep - I really do. But laying in bed, silently in the dark, without any distraction inevitably makes me sink into racing thoughts. When I’m in the shower, it’s pretty much the same. I start imagining scenarios in my head that will literally never happen, or could have happened. It’s like my mind waits for all my thoughts to just all come at once when I’m alone.

Breakups Are Horrible
Failed relationships are our weaknesses - there is no doubt about that. Especially when it is our overthinking that drove the person away. I totally could have prevented it if I just did (or didn’t do) that one thing. But have no fear - a study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that those who analyzed their break up more often through a series of questionnaires regained their sense of self more quickly than those who did not.

We Are Not Insecure Control Freaks
You don’t have to call us or text us back right away when you’re out, but if we haven’t heard from you and don’t know if you’re safe or not, our minds will flutter and play out a bunch of horrible scenarios in which you cheat or die. We just need that sense of clarity. Or someone to talk us off the ledge.

Possibly Because We Are Just Creative
Since we spend our days daydreaming, which leads to creative discovery, we will come up with (creative) solutions to particular problems. This all has to do with the default mode network - the part of the brain that’s active when people aren’t focused on the outside world - which is filled with activity when people use their imagination and engage in creative acts. (So when we meet someone that makes us live in the moment, we’ll hang on to them for life. Or as long as we possibly can.)

When We Apologize, We Really Mean It
If we feel like we’ve hurt your feelings, what you didn’t see is the time and effort we spent going over every single detail of the fight. We have seriously mastered the art of interpreting what people really mean by what they say and we always stress over what we could have or should have said, so it takes us forever to write an important message. But we mean every word.

We Enjoy A Break From Our Heads
Our favorite places are beaches or anywhere with a view because for a little while, we are somewhere stimulating enough that we won’t have to be mind-numbingly introspective. Concerts or parties we feel comfortable enough letting go and having fun is THE best.