An Open Letter to my College Soccer Team
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An Open Letter to my College Soccer Team

You’ll Never Walk Alone

An Open Letter to my College Soccer Team

To my backbone, my saving grace, my home away from home: To Truman Women's Soccer,

I was 17 years old when we met. I was scared, excited, nervous, vulnerable. I had nothing figured out, yet I thought I knew just about everything there was to know about this life. The first time we interacted was just a weekend tease in the summer. It was humid and sticky outside, a typical Missouri July. I was so nervous and I had no idea what to expect. But you greeted me with open arms and gave me one of the most unforgettable weekends of my life: The weekend when I finally knew where I belonged.

For my entire life I always felt a little out of place: Either too loud or too quiet, too serious or too goofy, too happy or too sad. But you felt like home. You feel like home. You are home. I knew on that first weekend that you were the one. I walked into Dobson Hall and something just clicked. Something felt good. Something felt right. The weekend was long but it went by so fast and I remember when it was over I wished I could just do it all again. I was nervous when I left that I wasn't good enough for you, but I knew that this was what I wanted so I pursued you without fear and rolled my sleeves up, ready to work. By the grace of God you chose me, and gave me the opportunity to pour my heart and soul into something in a way I never before believed or knew was possible, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

I came to you an unfinished product, an inch into the marathon that was ahead of me. But now that I am so close to finishing the race I look back and see how much more happened along the way than simply placing one foot in front of the other to reach my desired destination. Growth, change, love, heartbreak, fear, triumph. The four years I have spent with you have meant more to me than words could ever express, but I suppose one can always try. When we met, I was teetering. Flirting with the line of orderly and disheveled. When we met I pretended, but I was not okay. I was broken. Shattered, even. But you have pieced me back together and filled me up to my brim, and because of you my cup runneth over.

Since I have known you I have experienced many things: The death of close friends, the love of new ones, the loss of sleep, the best days and the very worst days. I have been taken advantage of, I have lost my faith, I have grown closer to God, I have found beauty in the little things. I have ached deeper than words could describe, I have laughed harder than I knew I was capable, I have smiled more than I could ever ask to and I have cried so hard that it dehydrated me. But through it all, one thing remained: You. You have been unfailing. You have been consistent, and reliable. You have been steadfast. When things were dark you were the light. When I hurt you healed. When I fell you stood. You showed me day in and day out that I did not just commit to you, but that you committed to me.

You are the best part of my day. Monday's are my least favorite day, and not because I have to get up early again, and not because the responsibilities of the week are daunting; but because on Monday's I don't get to see you. I have known days when it was all but impossible to get out of bed in the morning, but because of you I am up before my alarm. Because of you I race out the door to get my day started just so I can be that much closer to the moment when we will unite. You have made me a better version of myself. You have taught me harmony; you have taught me humility; you have taught me understanding; you have taught me love. When I am with you I feel like I am the most authentic version of myself that I can possibly be. I have always been the girl who has a constant guard up but when we're together it completely melts away. I have never known the kind of security and sense of peace that I feel when I am near you, and I have never felt such deep appreciation as I do when I think about what my time with you has truly meant to me. You took a girl who was scared to feel and you made her excited to love. You took a girl who's light had all but gone out and you set her soul on fire, and for that, I thank you.

It hasn't always been easy. There were days when I was distracted by things outside of you and your control and I began to pull away. There were days when the cost seemed far bigger than the gain, days when I didn't know if I could make this work anymore. Sometimes it was hard to see where we were going. Sometimes it felt like I was putting unending time and effort into something for which I would just never see a return. Thomas Edison once said "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work", and motherf*cker I felt that. I regret a lot of things from our first couple of years together. I spent a lot of time dwelling in anxiety and self-doubt, laziness and self-pitty, because I couldn't see the silver lining in the distance so I just assumed it wasn't there. But you were so patient. You waited for me to get it through my head that this thing wasn't just going to be handed to us. Dependably and steadily you were there to remind me that good things come to those who work. You unfailingly had my back until I could hold the weight and squat that shit myself. You helped me get out of the cage that is my own mind and the certainty that is my comfort zone, and once I took the first step the road less traveled by didn't seem all that impassable anymore, and traveling it with you has made all the difference.

There are so many more things that I would like to say to you, but I just don't know how. You have been a light unto my path and the ground beneath my feet. You have changed me for the better and you have shown me what it is like to love something; to really, truly love something. There's a song I know called "Wonderwall" by Oasis. It says "because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me", and I absolutely cannot think of a better phrase to sum up what you have done for me than those 10 words. You brought me back to life. You set my soul aflame. You saved me. And I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.

Thank you for everything.

Love always,

Maggie Beem #8

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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