When are people going to recognize that the now cliche plot line of depression, or the oversharing online and silly tips on how to not be anxious on Facebook mean something? This article aims to address two people: those who have a mental illness, and those who do not. If you are lucky enough to fall into the latter category, this first portion will be for you.
I understand mental illness is hard to understand! Someone wanting to not be alive, seeing things that aren't there, being easily angered, or maybe not even eating every day all seem like selfish traits or activities done on purpose or just flat out lies for attention. But think to yourself, what is so wrong with wanting attention? These people are struggling at the hand of themselves fighting their own mind, and the people around them not believing or choosing to not try and understand. In my experience, every symptom I experience, I'm terrified to tell anyone about because I'm scared others will judge me negatively for it, even if I'm not in a good place at all. If you are in a position where someone you care about is showing signs of depression, anxiety, or even the less talked about mental illnesses such as bpd, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, before you say anything to them realize that you have absolutely no idea what they are experiencing, and that is okay. Do not tell them that their "problem" will magically go away. Do not bring their looks into it. Do, research their symptoms, offer your support, and continue to treat them as the person you knew. If they're being shitty, hold them accountable. Manipulation is not a symptom of mental illness. But if they come to you for help, do your best, because they need it. And most importantly, stop stigmatizing them in the ways you can. For example, if you think people who need safe spaces are "weak", think about your nephew who now may be scared to reach out to you because of such beliefs. You never know what your loved ones are keeping from you.
If you are like myself and the silent majority of people who may be diagnosed, whether self or by a doctor, with a mental illness, this next section is for you.
I know the worrying about looking crazy in front of those who don't understand. I know every single cliche. But here's the thing about cliches: they're overused because they are true, for the most part. Sure, a cup of tea and book will not cure your anxiety but it just might stop the shaking for a bit, and that's all we can ever really ask for. We are more than this. Whether you go to therapy, take medicine, or like so many people are scared to even tell a soul about the voices, you're valid. You don't have to be "as bad" as the people around you, and you don't have to be "perfect" like the others. The struggles you go through are valid enough to get help. Taking care of yourself is more important than anything else on the planet, because it just might ensure you with more time.
If your middle school friends think you're a "monster" because you have thoughts about hurting yourself, they weren't going to your friends long anyway. No one who doesn't accept every single part of you is worth being in your life. If the boy you loved when you were sixteen is in and out of medical hospitals and makes you sit up talking to him so the man no one else can see won't get him makes you feel tired and your symptoms worse? It's okay to dump him. You don't have to be "as bad" as him. And your mental illness doesn't entitle people to have to stay in your life, or you in theirs.
Life is a fight, and everyone experiences it differently. But no one has to go through it alone, if you can't find a friend, be one.
