Dear Verbal Abuser,
“Bullying” is an outdated term used to describe what you’re doing to others. Verbally abusing someone, unlike bullying, is much more damaging. Every time you make a “joke” to those around you about someone else, you are hurting them. You aren’t physically hurting them; you are crumbling away the pieces of that person’s self-worth.
When someone considers you a friend, they think differently about you than you think of them. Unlike you, they don’t feel better if they make you feel disgusted about yourself. When you verbally abuse someone you consider a “friend,” they laugh. But they aren’t laughing because what you said is funny, they are laughing to shield the pain in their hearts that your words have caused. Your friends wear masks around you to control the image that you desperately seek to ruin. You are making your “friends” question whether or not you actually like them. Do you?
Every one of your little jokes pierces a person’s self-love until they are left bleeding on shattered ruins. You don’t realize that what you say hurts. You actually believe that what you’re saying is funny. But doesn’t it grow tiring to constantly shove others into the muck with your words?
People like you have hate in their hearts. People like you prey on the weak and attack with their quickest weapon: their words. You justify in your cold heart that you can’t be blamed if someone isn’t physically hurt. You were just “joking around.” You didn’t mean to cause that person to hate themselves. It’s not your fault that they wake up every day, look into the mirror, and screech on the inside about the shame they feel for themselves. You just made a joke, and people laughed—including them—so, what?
Abuse is abuse whether it be physical or verbal. Others are hurt emotionally by your words, even if they never have the courage to tell you. They’re human and can only hold so much emotional weight before their mind will collapse. Because, verbal abuser, you don’t realize what it’s like to be verbally abused by someone. Every comment that you make is stored in that person’s mind and will come out right when they are not feeling good enough. That snide remark you made will be played on a continuous loop in your victim's mind until they feel so much misery that the joy in their life ultimately vanishes.
As a verbal abuser, you accept the responsibility of slaughtering the confidence of others. You need to know that confidence is a hard trait for them to acquire after you smack insecurity in someone’s face. And when you create a world of perpetual abuse, your victim is constantly insecure. These people are undeserving of the hatred in your words. These people seek out your friendship and you, in turn, give them the dynamite for their own self-destruction.
So, verbal abuser, I encourage you to notice what you’re doing. You need to know that every time you direct your firing squad of “jokes” at the innocent, you are winning your own battle with filthy, cheap shots. No one else desires to declare war against you, so it’s time to stop acting like you’re a victor. In reality, you are constantly losing, because the world notices the bile that you spew on your victims. And the people who would be the most loyal friends you’ll ever have will never allow themselves to get close to an abuser.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Victim
