For 5 years, I was suicidal. I thought about suicide more about than I thought about school work, more than I thought about life, more than I thought about anything. It was the lowest point in my life. I was not motivated to get up, but I did get up and kept fighting. Now, I know the reason I did get up and fought. In a word surrounded by hate and cruel words, my friends/family gave me unconditional love and pushed me forward. These are the words I could never find in the past years. Many of you don't realize what a huge impact you have had on my life. I hope all my friends, even the ones I don't talk to anymore read this and their heart beats fast because they know it's about them.
Dear Past Friends/ Current Friends/ Family/ Everyone who has a part in helping me
First and foremost, thank you. I am here today because I had people like you in my life. I get to be my daddy’s princess and mommy’s peanut because of you. I get to be a role model to my little sister because of you. I get to be a little sister and watch my brother grow and strive because of you. I get to watch my baby cousin grow up because of you. I will graduate college and do what I love for the rest of my life because of you. I will get married, I will have kids someday because of you. I get to sit here and write to you today, because of you. So, thank you.... I will never stop thanking you for this.
Hearing the words “I want to kill myself” is never the easiest thing, but hearing it from your daughter, your sister, your cousin and even your friends is much harder than anyone can understand. But you all heard it, over and over again. You didn’t tell me to get over it, you didn’t tell me that I was just making it up. You listen to me, you picked me up off the ground continuously, you guys were my shoulder, my backbone. You told me the future was bright, you told me things would be okay and even when I kept saying you’re wrong, you just kept repeating it.
I have a special place in my heart for all of you. You guys will never know how much I admire you, how highly and often I think about all of you. You guys are my angels sent from heaven. You saved me. You saved another human. You gave me a reason to live. You have my endless love and friendship because of this. You are incredible, amazing, beyond words in my eyes. I hope when you have your down days you think of me, you think of what you did for me. How you were the friend I needed, and I hope you realize you are a superhero. You are my superhero. I hope when your days get tough, you remember all this. I hope you remember you always have a friend in me, whether its tomorrow or 20 years from now I will be your shoulder, just like you were for me. My life wouldn’t be a, well life, if it wasn’t for you. You made a change in the world. You gave light to my dark cold world. I love you all, I really wouldn’t be here without you.
The life you saved, Kaitlyn
If you or a friend are feeling suicidal, don't be afraid to speak up. Get the help you need.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline