Once you know what you deserve, you have the ability to walk away from anything. That won't make it easy, but it will make it worth it. Many times I see people in unhealthy relationships with insecure partners because they're afraid of change and they're afraid of being alone. They think by ending a significantly long relationship equates to wasting time. They think no one else will come. They think it won't get better, and they're wrong.
I've done it multiple times. I've stayed with people who sent me into anxiety attacks almost daily, people who've been violent, people who've threatened me, people who admit to thinking I'm weird as hell, control freaks, people who are unfaithful, and the kind of people who respond to things like "I miss you." with "I know." Trust me, I know it isn't easy. Humans hate change. Change scares the absolute hell out of most people. However, it's better to be alone than with the wrong person and sometimes you have to break your own heart to learn to love yourself.
Unhealthy relationships will drain you. They're exhausting both mentally and physically. They're 100% capable of demolishing your entire well-being. The most brutally honest comparison I was given was that of an amputation. No one wants to lose a part of their body but when it's crucial to their survival they do it, and they learn to adjust. Cut the toxicity out of your life, and not only will you adjust but your life will be even more incredible than it would be if you stayed in a toxic circumstance. Some people aren't even inherently bad people, but somebody doesn't need to be in order to be damaging. Your partner's way of living may very well just force you to put your own well being later on the list of priorities than it should be. They may not be able to meet your needs.
Get away from the people who refuse to officially give you a title that means something. Get away from the people that don't make an effort to be on the same side as your friends. Get away from the people that think you should put them before yourself. Get away from the people who give you more excuses than they do time. If somebody wants to see you, they will. Get away from the people that take pride in their ability to break you down, away from the people who make you feel like less of a person, and the people who treat you like you'll never leave. If you have to constantly repeat yourself and speak on your feelings and nothing changes, that alone will show you who they really are and that they don't respect you. When they show you who they really are, believe them. The more chances you give a person the less they'll respect you. Forget about the people who force you to compromise your own needs and happiness to meet their needs. Letting go doesn't mean you stopped caring, nor stopped loving, it simply means you started to care for yourself. Stop walking to the ends of the earth for someone who wouldn't even cross the street for you.
And then eventually, someone will come along that will make you be so incredibly thankful that you walked away. I didn't even end my last relationship. It was ended for me, and what a favor it was. I went from someone who sent me into anxiety attacks, that invalidated my feelings and told me I chose to let things bother me when I was upset about something he did, and completely resented everything about me that didn't benefit him. Do you know how frustrating it is to see somebody twice a month when they only live 20 minutes away?
From there on I decided until somebody made my life better than it is when I'm alone, I would stay alone. I started taking care of myself and chasing my goals faster than I ever have. It only took three months for someone else to walk through the door. In came someone who gets excited at my success instead of emasculated, and tells me constantly that he's proud of me. Someone who tells me my weird matches his, that stays up until ungodly hours just to do goofy things with me, and does everything he possibly can to make something better if it's bothering me, and nothing that bothers me is ever his fault, anyways. Someone who kisses where it hurts instead of making something hurt. Someone who calls me beautiful like it's my name and makes an effort to talk to my friends when they're around. Someone who signed a dotted line to dedicate himself to our country and works up to 18 hours a day, and still finds time to drive an hour to do all of these things. Trust me when I say you deserve better and you'll find it. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. Let go of whatever is holding you back, you deserve peace.
