Hey Girl,

You know who you are.

You are one of the kindest people that anyone would be lucky to meet. You are always there to lend a helping hand to a friend in need, or even a stranger. You find joy in making others happy.You’re very smart, a hard worker, and are heavily involved in most aspects of your life. On the outside, you appear to have everything going for yourself. But what others don’t see is how incredibly harsh and critical you can be… to you.

You know exactly who I’m talking about. You’re the girl who is never satisfied with herself. You’re always looking to improve upon something or be a better “you.” You’re extremely self-critical, terrible at taking compliments, and are always focusing on your own failings.

In your eyes, enough is never enough. No matter how hard you try or how much effort you put forth, you always question whether or not you could have done more. You could have approached a situation in a different way, or said something better.

Let’s face it; no matter how hard you try to hide it, you’re insecure.

You distract yourself from your insecurities by staying busy. You tend to commit yourself to too many things. Your daily schedule is filled from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. You find yourself wishing you had more free time to actually enjoy your life. You’re used to being overwhelmed, because that’s just what you’ve always done. How could you live your life in any other way? It helps you not think about deeper topics. It helps you stay focused and driven on figuring out your future.

You’re on an unrealistic quest to be perfect.

And in turn, you are slowly becoming miserable. You are the first to judge every word you say or every decision you make. Every detail about yourself is thoroughly examined, critiqued, and deemed unacceptable. But why?

It’s okay to be insecure.

Rather than being ashamed of your insecurities, embrace them! Your insecurities are what make you you. They set you apart from everyone else, and make you the beautiful girl you are. Why do the majority of young women today think it is okay to think others are more worthy of kindness than we are? We absolutely do not deserve the disrespect we receive from our own selves. Admit it, you would never treat a close friend the way you treat yourself. I can guarantee that if a friend was as harsh and critical of you as you are to yourself, you would not consider them a friend.

We need to realize that the only thing keeping us from being happy with who we are is within ourselves. By replacing all of that self-hatred with more self-compassion, we can attain the happiness we have been looking for this whole time. Be compassionate about who you are and what you want in life. Be proud of yourself for any accomplishment you make, big or small. Pat yourself on the back more often. If you don’t believe in yourself, then who will?

It all starts with you.

Believe it or not, you won’t be able to find happiness in a job, or with an important position in an organization, or even because of a special someone. You won’t be able to find it by burying your head in your books and studying for hours on end, or by going to every party or to every social event. These are just distractions to keep you from thinking you are not good enough. By being extremely involved with school, clubs, jobs, or volunteering, you are trying to find solace in the fact that your involvement makes up for your insecurity that you’re not good enough.

The majority of young women today find themselves in this state of ruthless self-judgement. We’re all trying to meet society’s shallow standards of what a beautiful, perfect young woman is, and you know what? That’s not only extremely ridiculous, but that’s simply unattainable. Who cares what society thinks is the epitome of what a young female should look and act like? An over-edited Instagram picture with a lot of likes isn’t a representation of who I am or what my goals are in life. Sorry, everyone.

All that matters is what you think of yourself in the end -- not your Instagram or Twitter followers.

And by the way, you are enough. You are not worthless, you do matter a great deal to a lot of people, and you impact the lives of so many individuals on a daily basis.

You are beautiful for being you, and this is where happiness resides.

Warm Regards,

Yours Truly.