Let me guess: you are a loving, caring person to the outside world. You believe in your friends, encouraging them to follow their dreams and supporting them through anything. When you see someone down, you greet them with positive words, smiles and reassurances that the dark times will pass. If someone you follow on social media posts something negative about themselves, you gush over their pictures, assuring them that they are loved, pretty and/or smart and that they should absolutely love themselves, and you mean every word of that. You can’t understand why your friends aren’t more confident; after all, you know them to be beautiful people, and you know that everyone they meet probably will feel the same way. You truly believe that everyone in the world deserves to be loved…except you.
For reasons that maybe you don’t understand, you just can’t seem to have the same love and emotions towards yourself. You beat yourself up when something goes wrong, getting frustrated and impatient with your own brain. You look at yourself in the mirror, touching up your lip gloss, and your shoulders just sag; maybe you don’t think you’re ugly, but you wish you had a body you could feel proud of showing off. Lying awake at night, cycling through the same anxious feelings that you tried to coax your friends out of feeling earlier, you feel certain that everyone hates you and no one thinks that you are funny, and that one tiny mistake, like fumbling with your wallet so the change falls out and everyone behind you has to wait for you to pick it all up, represents everything—you are just one big failure. Ugh, why is it so easy to love everyone but yourself?
Sound familiar?
Well, friend, it shouldn’t, because I promise you that everyone feels the exact same way towards you that you feel towards your friends. And, in fact, since 85% of the general population suffers from low self-esteem, everyone probably empathizes with your occasional self-loathing as well; celebrities, models and rich moguls feel these things just as teenagers of all shapes and sizes may feel as well. It’s normal, and a part of life. But it is unpleasant, and, of course, nobody wants to feel uncomfortable in their own body.
If this isn’t enough to convince you and you still feel self-conscious about being “different” or “out there,” just know that everyone else is just as concerned about themselves; in fact, they are probably so self-occupied that they are not paying any attention to you. Worried about the pants you’re wearing? Everyone else probably is too, so much so that they probably won’t even notice yours. Humanity is not as judgmental as we assume that it is.
Friend, it is time for you to release any inhibitions. Be the one that you once looked at in envy of their self-confidence; wear what you’d like, cut your hair how you’d like, speak how you’d like and act how you’d like. Be true to yourself! Dance if the music strikes your soul, and sing in the car, even if you know only half the words and your windows are rolled down. Let yourself stand out for being you, since you have a unique personality and perspective to contribute to the world.
It is time to end the culture of self-hate; view yourself in as positive of a light as anyone else. It is not arrogant or loathsome to be confident in yourself. In fact, if anyone deserves love from you, it is you!
Please, friend, although it is difficult at first, change the way you think about yourself and view the world. If you would not say something to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. If you would not think something about a friend, do not think about it towards yourself. You are worthy of every opportunity that comes your way, and you are capable of accomplishing anything that you put your mind to. The only limitation? Yourself.
