I’ve tried to write this letter a few times but each time I don’t know what to say, because I don’t know how I feel besides the fact that I miss you. We all have those friends in our life who are life long and I always thought you would be one of those people. You’ve been in my life since we were kids, having feeling for each other since the day we met but by the time I knew how you felt we had become friends so they got engorged. I didn’t want to risk losing you so changing what we had was hard until recently we finally tried a relationship, and it went south quick.
The short time we spent together that I got to call you my boyfriend was some of the best months I’ve ever had. Finally getting to do all the things together what we’ve been wanting to, being with you just made me smile, it never mattered what we were doing. All the little things about you I got to discover was my favorite part. We starting getting weird, nothing happened but maybe feelings changed so ending it was for best. Feelings of regret at first, losing someone who I didn’t think was possible. One of the people in my life who knows me the best but we can’t live in regret, so I came to realize that maybe this was for the best. We had some pretty amazing adventures together and I wouldn’t take a moment back.
Every relationship you should learn something from and you taught me a lot. I learned I need to take better care of my health, having someone in your life who is sick isn’t something that is easy. I also learned how great spending time alone could be, I've always had a problem being by myself. Even in the simplest of things it didn't matter who it was or what I was doing as long as I wasn't alone.
Most importantly I learned that when I make decisions that affect other people I need to consider that other person more. Which seems like common knowledge but I wasn’t aware how many times I overlooked it. Until you made the decision to not be around any more, everything has always been on my terms and that was the problem with our friendship/relationship we’ve had all these years, I never cared what you wanted with us because I just figured you would always be there. And now that you’re not I have no one to blame but me.
Losing more than a boyfriend, losing a friend who means more to me then I can explain, has been eye opening. Thank you for everything; I wish you nothing but happiness and I hope someday we can be in each others lives.
