All I wanted to know was that you saw the best version of myself. That when I couldn’t see that for myself, you did. To help me believe that I could be better than I was the day before. I didn’t think that was asking much. But, you make me see the worst version of myself. One that repeats the same day without growing as a person. Just a girl who makes the same mistake because she has yet to learn how to be absolute perfection.
I’m scared to be myself. I feel as though I must be perfect all the time. To say the right thing, get the perfect grades, and do everything the exact “perfect” way you would have it done. And if not, I’m a disappointment, It makes me fee like you’ve set me up for failure each time. It’s a true shame that the one who should see success counts on my failures. If I make a mistake and need help from others, I wish you wouldn’t insist on how I was a burden to them. There shouldn’t be consequences for not being perfect. Imperfection is human. And a good thing.
I wish you were the person I could go to when I need help, advice, comfort, and a laugh. Or the person who wouldn’t judge my relationship with God when you know nothing of my faith story. But you’re not. And I learned you’ll never be. I’m coming to accept that more as I grow older. I’m OK with that now. Because my courage, bravery, and boldness to be imperfect is something I’ve become proud of. That’s one thing you can’t make me feel bad about.
I’d like to thank you though. For dreading telling you I made a mistake made me eager to drain the seas to help those in my life when they make mistakes. To be there for them, regardless. And have them know they are never a burden but a blessing. For hiding my journey in faith with you made me realize I shouldn’t be judged for it because I shouldn’t feel ashamed in how I felt toward God. Above all, you helped me realize I don’t want to be absolute perfection. I’m happy with my flaws and mistakes. And I hope, one day you are too.
From,
A girl
Something I’ve learned is that it’s most important to stay true to yourself not to someone who tries to be absolutely perfect. It’s OK to be wrong and to make mistakes because that’s life. Sometimes we mess up but we have to trust that those we surround ourselves with will be there to help us when we do. Find the best version of yourself for you, not for the approval of others. And know that, your mistakes never make you a burden. Because you’re a blessing. Pinky promise.
