An Open Letter To The Heartbroken

We've all been there. Love has the ironic sense of being one of the most wonderful feelings in life, and the most devastating.

We've all had those moments of literal, physical heartbreak when we feel as if we can't breathe and nothing will ever be the same without them. We have no hope because we have lost the one person that meant the most to us.

But, let me reassure you. The right person for you wouldn't make you feel as if your entire world is crashing down. The right person wouldn't be the cause of you sobbing at three in the morning. The right person wouldn't hurt you on purpose, and if they did hurt you, they would do everything in their power to fix it. They wouldn't make you question whether or not they really ever did love you, or if it was just pure infatuation. The right person will give you butterflies all over again when you pass them on your way to class. They'll give you the bright red cheeks when you catch them looking at you. The right person will give you the happiness that love is supposed to give you, and the only thing they will make you question is why you were so upset over the last one.

I know you think that you're different. I did too. I know you think that maybe everything works out for other people, but it just doesn't for you. And I know that's what you're thinking right now as you read this. But I can tell you, you will find that feeling again with someone else. The reason it didn't work out before is because it wasn't meant to. God has a plan for you and it may not involve the person you want right now, but maybe the one you will need later.

After my first heartbreak, my mom told me, "Just think: it's better for him to decide that he doesn't want to be with you anymore now than it would be in 20 years down the road when you're married and have kids." Wouldn't you rather know now? I would.

And who knows, maybe you will have your time again down the road. But for now, you have to accept that you're not meant to be with this person at this point in your life. There's things you have to do, people you have to meet, things you have to see, without them.

Maybe there's someone else that you have to meet. Six months ago when I spent weeks crying in my bed at night with my mom doing her best to console me, I would never have pictured my life the way it is now. I would have sworn up and down that I wouldn't ever get over him and I'd never find someone else. But guess what? I'm happy again, genuinely happy. I've accepted the way that things must be and now I truly have discovered why they had to be that way. Sure, I was upset at the time, but I'm in a new environment now and I've met new people. I'm ready for this next step in my life, just as you should be, no matter where that next step is.

Take chances, give chances, and live your life the way you want to live it because you live for you now. Maybe that person will join you again later in your life, when you've both grown up a little bit, taken on new perspectives, and lived a little. But for now, you have to be somewhere else. Somewhere you're supposed to be. And I promise, things do get better — with or without them.

When you stop looking back, you start looking forward.