To the Beautiful Girl Who Doesn't yet Believe She's Beautiful,

I'm sorry you clicked on this because that means you relate. It means you don't see yourself as enough and tear yourself down every chance you get. It means when you walk into a room you already see yourself as inferior to everyone else in there. It means you know what it's like to stay up late at night waiting for everyone to fall asleep or take showers so other people don't know you're crying because you're so unhappy with yourself. It means that you can't even look in the mirror because you hate the reflection staring back at you. I know all this because I used to be you. I used to do these things and so much more because I was plagued by low self-esteem and it haunted me for years. I remember one night hoping that no other girl felt the way I do about myself and so I am extremely sorry that you do.

I know nothing I will say can change your opinion about yourself. No matter how many people tell you that you're beautiful or have a great body or are smart you won't believe it because you still tell yourself the same lies and continue to believe them. You tell yourself that you're inferior and nothing you do will ever change that because you'll never be enough. You're not the ugly one though. It's the cruel, distorted world you've created for yourself that's ugly. It's the impossible standard you've set for yourself and how horribly critical you are when you fall short of an unrealistic goal. Everyone's compliments mean nothing to you and will continue to mean nothing to you as long as you keep telling and believing your own lies. Once you truly realize how distorted your world is I promise things will start to change.

Until that time comes though you are probably exhausted. I know I was. All the acting can get to you. Acting like you're okay and don't hate yourself. Acting like you didn't fall asleep crying. Acting like you have just a shred of confidence. The person you show everyone you are is so much different than the person on the inside. You're hiding how broken you really are. I get it, you don't want other people's pity or opinions. You don't need to show the entire world the demons you're facing. Sadly, you pay the price and are worn out. I felt alone for a long time because I refused to open up to others about how I felt. I thought it was my burden to carry alone and to share with someone else would only bring them down too so I put my troubles in a place where they could only hurt me. Little did I know how freeing it would be to share with someone the darkest parts of me. You won't be as exhausted when you do this and if you tell the right person they may change everything like the person I told did.

The question I asked myself over and over was, "What would it feel like if I didn't feel this way?" I have the answer for you all. It feels amazing. My weaknesses have now become my strengths and I am confident. I'm no longer afraid to be one hundred percent myself; flaws and all. It didn't happen over night though. It took a lot of time and soul searching. I really had to evaluate myself in a non biased way and understand that yes, I do have shortcomings but that 's what makes me human and most importantly what makes me, me. There are still times when I question myself or feel that I am still not enough. Those times hurt because they bring up emotions I had never wanted to experience again but when I remind myself of how far I have come and hold on to the person I have become; the carefree girl who doesn't care what others think because she has finally become enough for myself and then I feel better.

So you beautiful girl who related to this, I am so very sorry. It hurts me knowing that you're hurting. I promise it will get better if you want it to. It's going to take everything you have but you're already so strong you just may not know it yet. Know that I, someone who once had extremely low self-esteem, believe in you even if you don't.