To the people that have rejected me in my lifetime,
Thank you.
Those might seem like strange words coming from someone that you rejected. I should feel bitter. I should be salty. I should be angry. I should feel hurt. I should be sad. I should be lot of emotions that I can’t describe. But I am not.
In fact, because of your rejections, I have become the person that I am today. That’s such a cliché thought though, right? You made me the person that I am today! But it is the truth. Without you, I would not be strong. Without you, I would not know myself like I do now. Without you, I would not know how to pick myself up from the ground and keep moving forward. Without you, I wouldn’t be as thoughtful and caring towards other people. Without you, I wouldn’t have grown up.
When you rejected me, I began to reject myself. I thought there was something wrong with me. You told me I was too fat, too smart, too weird, too loud and too different. You told me that I didn’t fit in with your group of friends because I wasn’t like you. You told me that my personality wasn’t good enough for you. You told me I was perfect to my face but went around and told everyone that I was a freak. You beat me down almost every day in so many different ways even if you didn’t know it, but I forgive you.
I forgive you for scarring my memories. I forgive you for not understanding me. I forgive you for using me for your benefit and then throwing me away like a piece of garbage. I forgive you for abusing my love. I forgive you for everything that you did to me because what you did to me taught me that it is better to forgive and be happy than to hold onto a past that will never change.
You taught me that kindness and forgiveness are two of the most precious gifts that we can give to one another. Because you weren’t kind to me, I had to learn to be kind to myself. Once I learned to be kind to myself, I learned how to be kind to others. You taught me far too long ago that love is lacking in this broken world, so I decided to use love as my weapon to battle your rejection. I learned how to love the people that are the hardest to love. I learned how to accept that rejection is going to be a way of life for me, and I can’t blame anyone for that. I learned to respond with kindness and love instead of hate and blame.
You probably didn’t even mean to hurt me. You didn’t realize what you did to me. I bet you didn’t realize that you made me afraid and self-conscious. I’m sure you didn’t mean to give me anxiety. I know you didn’t mean to make me want to hurt myself. But that’s okay. I forgive you.
To every person in my life that has ever wronged me, I forgive you. It was the hardest lesson to learn and it took until my third year of college to figure it out, but I did. I learned to let go. Though I will never forget, I will always forgive because it is people like you that reject me that make me stronger and a better person. You push me to my breaking point and make me realize that my patience can be pushed further. I can accept the criticism and the negative comments and turn them into ways I can positively improve myself.
I know that you’re never going to go away. You are always going to be here to judge me and reject me, but that’s OK.
I forgive you.
