Emotions can be a tricky thing. One day you can be fine and not think about it at all, and the next day it consumes your mind to the point where you just need to cry. Overthinking can be the leading cause of it, and people discourage this behavior after a certain amount of time. The healing process and mental state is different for everyone, and I'm just here to tell you it's OK to not be OK.
People, books, movies, songs, they all tell us that we are supposed to take a few days to cry and then we are supposed to be fine. No matter the situation. Whether you lost a loved one, went through a breakup, or experienced something traumatic, you are not okay and that's okay. What makes it worse is when people tell you that you need to be okay and that you need to get over it, because that makes you think about the situation more.
Cry if you need to. Drive around and listen to sad music. Watch sad movies and look at old pictures. If you need a day like that, then take it. Nobody should judge you for doing what you need to do in order to gather your strength.
Crying shows strength and the pain drives the urge to get stronger. These are the things that make you stronger and make you learn to love yourself. If you can make it through this, then you can make it through anything, and that knowledge is so comforting.
One day the crying will stop. One day the memories will make you smile instead of breakdown. One day you will be able to look at their face and not feel immediate pain or longing. One day you will feel invincible and wondering why you wasted your time feeling that way anyways. One day you will understand why everything happened the way it did. One day you will be at peace.
But it's OK if today is not that day.
You are getting stronger, little by little. You are building yourself up in a way you didn't know possible. You are creating new standards and setting higher expectations for yourself and the people you surround yourself with. You are adapting to your changing self, because you will change. You are becoming a new you.
The next time someone tells you that you should be okay, understand that it's perfectly fine if you're not. Because one day you will be, and after all of the tears and waiting, that day will be so worth it.
