An Open Letter To My Inner Demons

An Open Letter To My Inner Demons

You're definitely the one thing I'm not absolutely terrified to say goodbye to.
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Hey Buddies,

For years you've continually drowned me in self-misery and pain, and I wish that I could say "long time no talk," but, we both know that that's not true. Some days you're quiet enough that even if it's just for a little, I can forget you're there - and other days it seems like I can't breathe without feeling like I'm doing something wrong. Everyone has their own version of you, and some people are better at managing than I am - but I'm hoping soon enough we can come to an agreement.

Here are my terms to you:

First, no more suffocating anxiety. No more talking me into being terrified when I'm walking by a group of people that I know absolutely does not know me. No more telling me people are judging me when I'm hungry, and paralyzing me so I can’t walk into the chow hall, restaurant, or grocery store. No more instilling fear when I want to go out with my friends because masses of people I don't know might be present. Not again can you, my inner demons, control what is rightfully mine.

Second, no more self-loathing. I can't remember a time when I looked into the mirror and I had a genuine compliment for myself. Every glimpse has been tainted with that your piercing comments about the gap in my teeth, the freckles on my face, and my weight. I have journals from ELEMENTARY school, where I wrote about losing weight to fit into cuter clothes - 3rd grade? Really? Why? What woke you up so early? Why have I never been able to make you stop? Not again can you, my inner demons, control my self-image and worth.

Third, no more overbearing nervousness. Let me be able to say "good bye" to someone without feeling like it'll be the last time I see their face; I resort to "see you soon" to calm myself but it doesn't always work. Let my loved ones drive somewhere without having to always let me know that they got there, and if they do forget to let me know don't make up worst case scenarios. The overthinking itself is enough to drive me crazy, I don't need the nerves to push me over - just because it’s happened before doesn't mean it's going to happen again. Not again can you, my inner demons, plague my future with constant fear of loss.

Stop making me jump to the absolute worst. Stop making me feel like I'm unworthy, not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not funny enough, not talented enough, not smart enough, not enough. I am more powerful than you.

Finally, I've never understood how something internal had so much power - how something inside of your own head could make you feel so small. But what's even more is that, with all of the bad you've done - isn't there good that you can do?

Now, I know that you're pretty set in your ways - and I know that switching it up isn't going to be a cakewalk. But I can't continue to let you hold my mind hostage like this, and I will continue to try to over power you with positivity. We've spent years tearing me down, and it's time to build me back up.

So, you have my propositions - and I've got to say, you're definitely the one thing I'm most definitely not terrified to say goodbye to.

Good Riddance,

Me

Cover Image Credit: Christian Hopkins

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.

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Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.


Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.


Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

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