Dear Incoming Freshmen,
It’s getting closer and closer to move-in day and you have checked and rechecked your list to make sure everything is packed and you are prepared for anything. Make sure to ask yourself if you are mentally prepared for the first jump into adulthood. I wasn’t. I was terrified; terrified to meet my suite-mates and definitely my roommate, terrified I wouldn’t fit in or make new friends, terrified of all the uncertainty that comes with going to college. You see, I suffer from severe social anxiety, a mental health condition where social interactions give me irrational anxiety. My brain is my enemy in this case. I begin to feel self-consciousness and wary of others' judgement of me in everyday situations. It is not a cute condition and is much different than simply being a tad anxious. I’ve missed birthday parties, small get-togethers and have blown off hanging out with my friends before because I physically cannot wrap myself around the idea of leaving my bed. I’ve missed countless deadlines for assignments or rushed it at the last minute because I couldn’t summon the energy to get it done beforehand. So, I’m writing this letter to all the incoming freshmen with some tips on how to get through your first year of college.
To begin, although cliché, you have to remember to breathe. I get tired of being told this and I am sure you probably do too, but as annoying as it can be, it does help. I was given a tip to breathe in, count to five and release while counting to five. This helps alleviate some anxiety if I am on the verge of a panic attack.
Sometimes breathing exercises don’t cut it and I get stuck with a feeling of watching myself from afar, and I suspend myself away from the situation. This is not a good coping mechanism because it is important to face the issue and conquer it. So, to place yourself in the moment, focus your attention on an object around you. Depending on where your attack strikes, your object will vary. It could be your shoes, the ceiling or floor of the room or any number of things. As long as you ground yourself in the moment and your mind is present, you can calm yourself quicker than you could have before.
The biggest issue I had was coping with the fact I could not control what would happen in a given situation. That prospect shook me to my core. Yet, I made a promise to myself when I entered college that I would not let myself miss out on opportunities I thought I would enjoy just because I feared it. Keeping true to that promise, I allowed myself to open up to my suite-mates and I now have eight great friends. I pushed myself to go to programs planned by my university and I always had a good time. Yet, sometimes I still found myself leaving earlier than most and entering my dorm drained.
This may happen, but it is important to celebrate the little accomplishments and set limits for yourself so you don’t drain yourself. Now, does following all these tips guarantee you won’t have attacks and you’ll magically transform into a social butterfly? Of course not. But just maybe, little by little, you will feel yourself growing and becoming stronger than you were before. Just know you can make it. Despite what your head will tell you, you can make your freshman year one to remember.
Sincerely,
A sufferer and a survivor
