We met at a Halloween party during our sophomore year of high school. The first words we ever said were said in between laughs, which we did a lot. I remember leaving that party thinking, "How have I never met him before?" It was like we were going to be best friends from that moment on, but since our high school was overpopulated, we didn't meet again until our junior year when I joined a club you were in. From then on, we were best friends. We would go to movies, travel together, and always laugh. I always cherished our time together during high school. I let you in; I broke down my walls for you. I let you in with my family, something that I don't do often. I trusted you with every secret I ever had. There came a time, after high school, when we both moved off to college that we didn't talk as much anymore. Other than us not talking as much, nothing changed. I still trusted you and we still laughed, but what I once felt for you changed. I saw you not only as a best friend, but someone I loved. Although we were apart more than we were together, I still wanted us to be together.

One day after years of gaining up enough courage, I told you that I wanted to be with you. You had just left my house to go back to school, and I wanted to tell you so badly, but I couldn't. I watched you back out of my driveway, and I felt like the biggest loser ever. I wanted to be fair to myself because I couldn't keep holding onto you like I was. I called you on the phone, and I told you that you were the only person I wanted to be with. My heart was beating out of my chest, but I was confident in myself.

I'm not mad that you didn't love me back. Sometimes I have trouble loving myself, too. I'm not mad that you didn't want to be with me. There's always a chance of that when you take the risk of telling someone you love them. We are in different states so we would've had a long distance relationship, but for you, I would've done anything.

I just hope that you can still talk to me without it being weird. I just hope that you didn't shrug my feelings off like I meant nothing to you. I have spent so many years of my life loving you as a friend and as something more. I don't think that's going to end anytime soon. I hope that whoever you do love, loves you back. Because not being loved back sucks, a lot. I hope that whoever you love, sees the light in your eyes like I did.

We haven't talked since that day, and I guess that's OK. I still think about you and hope that you're OK. You were the one person in my life for so long that I felt actually understood me. If there's ever a moment where you want to call me and just talk, don't hesitate. Although I'm not waiting around for you to call me, I would answer and be happy that you did.

I will always be grateful for that Halloween party.