To our generation the words, “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” have become like curse words. We all know what I mean, you or your friend have been “talking” to this guy for a while, you’re out at the bar or a party and someone asks, “Oh is this your boyfriend?” Commence the horrified looks from both parties, you’re wondering what he is going to say but inside slightly dying because you’re probably going to be very disappointed. Eventually, you both giggle slightly and nod politely because, you know, it’s just easier.
I have seen it countless times with my girlfriends (and guy friends) leading a girl along for months on end never wanting to give the “label.” But what the hell is so wrong with solidifying what you are not only to others, but to each other. I completely understand taking things slow, after getting out of a horrible relationship myself months later when I met my current boyfriend I wanted to take things slow, mostly because I was afraid of making the commitment and getting hurt again. However, after spending some time together in group and solo settings I knew I wanted to be with him and only him.
But there has to come a time where if it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and sounds like a duck, well I am going to go out on a limb here and call it a duck. If he acts like your boyfriend, talks like your boyfriend, etc. then he should be called your boyfriend. What ever happened to going out on a few dates, over the span of a few weeks and then after an appropriate amount of time you decide to “go steady” as they used to say. It saddens me the days of romantic dates and courtships are over, it’s a few casual hang outs maybe a night out mixed in, you meet the friends and then this pattern goes on for months until eventually, yeah we are boyfriend and girlfriend. It petrifies me children are going to hear the love story of their parents and it is going to begin with Tinder and "talking." You deserve so much better. And if you want someone to be your boyfriend then take control. You do not and should not wait for him to decide what you are. Yes, a label should not define the relationship, and it should not be something to fixate over, but then why is it so hard to just call it what it is if you are not seeing other people. You still have a commitment to break even without the label. Or is not having the label what makes it easier to walk away if you want?
Dating is great, I love the idea of dating so you can get to know someone, go on a few dates and if they aren’t right for you then you aren’t invested in any way. But I also love the idea of commitment. There are not a lot of sure things in this world, and it is certainly nice to know how someone feels about you and wants to be yours and only yours. But most importantly, becoming someone’s boyfriend is not a law binding vow. It’s not marriage here, people! Yes it’s a big step but don’t start dating if you aren’t ready to take that step once you meet a great person.
