To The Girl Who Believes It Will Never Get Better,
It will. You know why? Because I was you, I have been there. I have sat in the bathroom with the shower running and the music blaring in order to drown out the sounds of my cries. Didn’t think I knew, did you? I know right now you feel as if, your whole world is coming down on you and that there is no fight left in you. I know you are thinking that this pain is too much and there is no way it will ever fade or go away, it will get better. And trust me, it will not get better if you stop talking about your problems and bottle them up, cause I tried that, it didn’t work. It will not get better if you start to cut yourself to release the unbearable pain from never speaking a word and fighting through every issue and problem alone cause I tried that, it didn’t work. And NO, it will not get better if you try to take your life because the cutting has become bearable and is not enough to release the pain cause, sadly, I tried that and for some reason, that I did not understand at the time, it didn’t work. But now, I understand why.
You know when it will get better? It will get better when you start believing in yourself. It will get better when you start to love yourself, when you start to stand up for yourself and when you start pushing yourself to be better. It will get better when you finally realize that toxic “best friend” that has kept you down for God knows how long, needs to go. It will get better when you let go of that the boy or girl who said he or she “loved” you, would never hurt you or leave you yet, has done the complete opposite. Please realize he or she is not worth your time, love, or effort, no matter how much you want to make things work. It will get better when you learn that you are beautiful and that no person on this earth is like you. It will get better when you realize you have qualities that so many people in this world and in your life, would KILL for. It will get better when you start to embrace what has happened to you. Whatever or whoever has caused you to go in this downward spiral or has broken you or has made you feel this hate towards yourself, accept it and grow from it. It will get better when you decide, it needs to end. It is not going to happen over night, hey, it took me a year and a half. But it needs to start today. You have it within you, even though you feel like you have no strength left, you find that strength, you force that strength, until you feel it and believe it. You need to pick yourself up off that bathroom floor, shut off the running water, stop the blaring sound of the music, wipe off those tears, look yourself in the mirror and say…
“It starts to get better now”.
The Girl Who Has Been There Before