Dear girl,
When we were freshmen in high school you bullied me to a point that I completely lost myself. While you may not have come up and bullied me to my face what you did do was much worse. You spread rumors about me and turned all of my best friends against me. You brought me to a point where I had one friend that went to school with me. You made school a place that I thought of as my own personal jail and absolutely dreaded going to every day. I faked being sick for days at a time just to avoid the loneliness that awaited me at school. I had become a shell of my former self, I wasn’t eating, sleeping, I wasn’t enjoying the things I used to enjoy, and I had begun not caring much about myself or my life anymore. You took so much away from me, but this is not a letter about how you defeated me, this is a letter about how I overcame what you put me through and how I am a better person for how I dealt with that.
I want to thank you. Even though you hurt me so much, by overcoming what you put me through I became a much better and stronger person. It took hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I needed to change my ways. I went from someone who hated myself, spent most of my free time cooped up in my room, not really caring about anything to someone who is proud of who they are and celebrates life, cares for other people, and goes out of their way to help other people. You might have destroyed my sense of self but you didn’t destroy me, I rebuilt my sense of self; stronger than I was before, and became proud of the person I am. It didn’t happen overnight; I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly become better, I had to work at it but I eventually became happy with who I’d become.
Years have passed and you have not really apologized for the things that happened and I have not apologized for the things that I did that were wrong. I have struggled for years to get to a point where I can finally forgive and forget, I have finally reached a point where I can forgive you but I don’t think I will ever forget the way that I felt. I am sorry for the things I did and said that I know were hurtful to you. I could try to defend myself and say that it was me defending myself and trying to fight back but I know that I took things too far, and I am sorry for what I said and did that made you feel bad about yourself. Fighting fire with fire only intensifies the flames and two wrongs don’t make a right but sometimes when we get caught up in an argument we forget that.
Sure, what I went through was difficult to deal with at the time, but it changed me for the better. I want you to know that you might have destroyed my sense of self at the time but I rebuilt it and I am better than I was before. If you had not hurt me I would not have had to do that and I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
