Dear Righties,
Being a Lefty in a world of Righties is not often something that I expend much energy in discussing or even thinking about; however in recent times in my life being left-handed is becoming increasingly more apparent and difficult to ignore. The point of this letter is to simply make Righties aware of the small, yet frustrating issues that Lefties face on a daily basis so in the future Righties are a bit more empathetic toward the small, yet trying struggle we face.
Many people are familiar with the expression - “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.” A similar saying is also true. “Every time a Righty sits in a Lefty desk, a Lefty somewhere inexplicably froths at the mouth with rage.” This is actually a thing that happens to me and other Lefties and it never ceases to make me very, very salty for the entirety of the lecture or event that I am attending. I almost feel as though the person doesn't recognize that the very small inconvenience toward me could be the thing that pushes me right over the edge for the day. (everybody has those days - you know exactly what I'm talking about.)
An accurate depiction of what right-handers look like to left-handers sometimes when a Lefty desk is stolen.
Let's say that there are 100 desks in a certain lecture hall at a given time. If we say that the hall is set up in a perfect square of desks just for the sake of simplicity, we can assume that every chair on the side of the square that faces the left wall of the hall is a lefty desk. With simple math we can conclude that out of 100 desks in the hall, there are approximately 10 desks in the hall designed for Lefties.
Now this is assuming that the lecture hall even accounts for Lefties at all (which in my experience is somewhat rare unless the building that your lecture hall is in was built after Lefties were deemed acceptable in the eyes of society, and not literally children of the devil by Catholic School nuns).
"Dad singing me a lullaby <3"
You can only imagine my very slight inconvenience when I have to have literally my entire arm hanging off in the open, stale air while all of my weight for writing rests on my small and dainty left wrist.
In a very accommodating lecture hall there are about 10 desks for any given Lefty. Most studies show that around 12% of people are Lefties, so given an average selection of college students, it about equals out. However, great variances of data occur in the percent of people who are left-handed and taking certain classes. Some surveys show that sometimes half of the students in a given class are Lefties. So what gives?
Another thing that Lefties will always hold a grudge against are Spiral Notebooks.
More like, “Spiraling into an inferiority complex.”
Yes - the simple Walmart style notebooks that are very cheap and so widely available that nobody can resist their temptation - EXCEPT FOR LEFTIES. Only we understand that writing on the standard side of a page is like Chinese water torture for your left arm. The worst part is that it is inescapable while writing in this kind of notebook, and after class your hand looks like you've been attacked by a gerbil with a tiny rake.
Hey, could I borrow your tiny rake for class today? My Gerbil's lawn really needs to be cleaned.
Besides the academic struggles of Lefties, the struggle even exists for Lefties who wish to do sports. If you're anything like me, you were often the last one picked in Gym class in High School anyway, but when we played Golf, Baseball or did archery you recognized the despicable idea of having to share literally one lefty mitt, club and bow between five other very awkward children.
"It's okay very wide Gym Teacher, I'll just catch this line drive from our Gorilla-like varsity lineman with my minuscule, freshman hands. Or my eye socket, probably."
Although Lefties face a small annoying struggle, it is nothing compared to the struggle that Lefties used to have to deal with. People were once so biased on the right-hand side that the word Ambidextrous in Latin literally means “Right-handed on Both Sides.”
Especially in many middle Eastern cultures, the left hand was historically only used for cleaning yourself after peeing or pooping. This meant that Lefties literally handled their poop and pee with the same hand as they ate with. As one can imagine, being left-handed wasn't even really an option back then.
Not all cultures thought that left-handedness was a negative attribute. The Incas believed that Left-handed people had healing or even magical powers.
"He has Gerbil sized rake marks and pencil lead all over his left hand! The Prophesy has been fulfilled!"
It just goes to show that nowadays, although lefties complain, it's probably better off now more than ever to choose your Left over your Right, even if it causes a small amount of grief.
