High school... such a fragile time in one's life. You grow, learn, and love a lot harder than you ever did before. This is a letter to you, the very first person that I ever loved more than myself. I want to start by thanking you because without you, I would more than likely still be stuck in my selfish ways.
To you, we may have had any other typical high school friendship/relationship, but to me, it was so much more. I am now speaking from a much more mature and developed point of view and I can confidently say that I have accepted the ghost of what our friendship once was. I no longer question my worth and validity according to you. I found my own self-worth, and self-love in places I never expected to find them.
You used to make me angry. I felt as though I had given you all of my energy and you never acknowledged it, but now I have learned to focus my energy on people and relationships that give back. I feel no sort of resentment towards you any longer. I only wish you all the world has to offer you. I don't say this with sarcasm or hate, I say this from a genuine place of healing.
When I think of you succeeding it makes me smile. You never believed in yourself like I did. Your decisions don't define the person you are, and I honestly don't think you realized the impact you had on my life. You were significant, you were important, you did matter. I will always have a love for you. When I say that I am not referring to a romantic kind of love, but rather a love of the experiences you gave me that turned me into the person I am today. I can finally say that seeing you happy and knowing that it is not because of me no longer stings.
There is no longer heartache when I hear you laugh and I know I didn't cause your quirky chuckle. I really hope you find the kind of self-worth that I have found by being alone. What most people would consider a pathetic and unfortunate series of events I consider my turning points. The raw vulnerability that is high school was a breeding ground for heartbreak and overwhelming amounts of emotions (and hormones). You contributed to that cesspool that is the hallways of our beloved high school.
With that being said: I hope that one day you come across this article and you know that it is about you. I hope that you find your way to happiness. I also hope you find love in places that you never expected because the kind of love that blindsides you is the kind of love that changes lives. May this life be all that you want it to be. Stay hungry, stay foolish and stay gold.
With Love,
The girl who was never enough.
