Dear Crush,
Whether or not this ever amounts to anything, I’d like to say thank you. Getting over my ex-boyfriend has been very difficult, but you made it easier for me. You have made me laugh and remember how it feels to get nervous around someone again. I have welcomed those butterflies back to my stomach as it is a blessing to know they can return. You have reminded me what I want from a relationship and what kind of person I want to be with.
My last relationship was not an enjoyable one. It turned in to a constant battle over who was right and who was validated in being jealous. You're not like that. Although this is still very new, we don't fight and there's no jealousy. I don't resent you and I don't feel like an obligation. You make me feel wanted and I haven't felt that way in a long time.
There's an awkwardness to this. I am not completely comfortable with you yet and there's still so much of me you do not know. Nothing is familiar and I don't know all there is to know about you. Finding out who you are and getting to tell you who I am makes having feelings for someone again enjoyable.
There’s a lot of this that I have to figure out on my own, but you’ve helped me to rediscover some of those feelings which I had forgotten. You make me feel like I am someone who is fun and interesting. I am never annoyed to hear your stories and you always care about what I have to say. You have truly been a blessing to me and I am very grateful.
You don't look at me and see the same thing you've seen for days or weeks, but instead a new person, a different side every time. I don't know what I'm doing with this. I don't remember what it was like to flirt before. I don't remember what I said or did to make my ex like me and I have to figure it all out again. I will say stupid things. I will embarrass myself and you. I will make many, many mistakes. I'm glad that it's you that I'll make them with.
I have to find myself again. I have to decide who I want to be and who I want to be around. Even if this is nothing more than a crush, I’m glad that it’s you. You have shown me that I deserve much better than what I had and that there are better relationships than those formed in high school. You are more mature, you are kinder, you are more honest and I greatly appreciate it.
I would love for this to develop into a new relationship, but if not that’s okay too. You have shown me that things can only go up from here and that I deserve so much more. Thanks a million.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who's Dating Again
