Dear Fashion Magazines,

I have always been consumed with you. For years, especially in middle school, I've never been able to walk by your shelves when in bookstores. It’s like I look, and my eyes just can’t divert from the path. It’s a type of solace, really, to sit in quiet and read your pages. Your colorful cover photos featuring celebrities and models wearing the most stylish clothes just make me wish that I could, one day, have those clothes or design them. Unfortunately, our relationship is of the love-hate genre.

When I was younger, all I wanted to do was be like those models. To be skinny, tall and beautiful was my dream. Unfortunately for me, I was 5'1" going on 5'2". Having played sports since second grade, I had an athletic build. In other words, I was nowhere near the long and tall models that grace your covers. Of course, at the time, I wasn't aware of Photoshop. It's not exactly the first thing that crosses the mind of a 14-year-old girl. I didn't think about the fact that maybe the model's waist wasn't actually pointed in or thin in real life. Or, that maybe her skin didn't look as airbrushed and smooth.

I worked everyday to become like those models. I immediately categorized myself as "fat," even though I wasn't. At this time, I started going to a new school, and used the opportunity to change myself. I began wearing makeup, or at least as much as my mom would allow, and went to the gym everyday on top of my after school field hockey and softball practices. I forced myself to run 30 minutes on the treadmill everyday, which doesn't seem like a lot, but it is if you include the three hours of practice beforehand. I also watched my diet. I basically cut out all sugar and fatty foods, and only allowed myself one portion of food per meal regardless of whether I was still hungry or not. Because I couldn't control what the fashion models looked like, I decided to control myself instead. If I couldn't control what publications put on their covers, the least I could do was control myself so that I could resemble the models in the best way possible.

Recently, there has been a lot of change and attitude towards the fashion industry and their models. Major companies like Aerie no longer Photoshop their ads completely, and France just recently passed a bill that forces their models to have a doctor's note of sorts declaring their weight healthy. Unfortunately, with so much change, more is still needed. The imperfect uniqueness of everyone's body needs to be praised rather than looked down upon. Of course, with the change of the industry, must also come a change in society.

There are plenty of stories currently out in the media about girls, boys, women and men who grew up with similar experiences as me: comparing themselves to the ideal body images that society has become accustomed to. They wanted to have the ideal body type that was plastered on the newsstands, and tried everything possible to look that way. I don't necessarily blame you. I blame society more. I even blame myself. By buying into these magazines like yourself, I continue to promote the industry publishing Photoshopped photos and unrealistic idealizations. It’s the harsh truth of the situation, one that I am completely guilty of. Continuing to fall for your glamorous covers keeps the train rolling. It keeps it so that there is no strive for change. So that the same little girls and boys, like me, see the same Photoshopped bodies and begin to stress over their imperfections.

I, for one, as one of your victims, also accept blame as one of your accomplices. I think others who read this will begin to also. It is not necessarily that we stop buying into your eye-popping covers, but that we demand change. We need to think about changing our perceptions, and begin to accept anything and everything that doesn't necessarily look like it could belong on the front cover of a major magazine: to accept uniqueness and, most importantly, to accept ourselves.