Before you two showed up, I had mom and dad all to myself. I was their princess, and I got to monopolize their time and energy. I loved it. Then you came along. At first, I liked the idea of being a big sister. I could shower my baby brothers in love and give them gifts and be an adorable big sister. I could not wait.

The reality was much less glamorous. You stole mom and dad’s time and energy. You were loud. And smelly. I was not the center of our parents’ and grandparents’ worlds anymore. I was so used to having everyone wrapped around my finger, but you were different. I couldn’t bend you to my desires like I was used to, so you no longer fit my dream vision. I wanted out of this “big sister” deal. I picked on you and tried to hurt your feelings, because when I got a reaction out of you, I felt like I was in control again. I treated you guys like I was your own personal demon. If anyone else tried to mess with you, though, they were going to have to get through me first. Only I could pick on you; anyone else who tried was in over their heads.

Now you are both growing up. You are learning to make your own independent choices. You are becoming your own person and casting off the influences of the adults and peers surrounding you. I am so proud. When I go away to school, I miss seeing your faces. I don’t get to experience your insane overnight growth spurts. I am not your confidant when life isn’t going your way anymore. I hate these parts of being your big sister.

At the end of the day, though, I derive a sense of comfort from the fact that at the end of each semester, I get to come see your goofy grins. We can resume our inside jokes and can pick right back up on trying to creep out mom and dad. I know I used to be Satan to you, but I am so proud and happy to call myself your big sister now.