Dear Anxiety,
There are moments where you completely take over me. You suppress by personality, shut-down my brain and force me to question every aspect of my life.
Anxiety is kind of like a shadow, you know that you have it's there, but you can only see it at certain times.
Anxiety makes you choose it over your friends. Instead of being around people who actually care about you, it will convince you to stay behind in your own thoughts and worries. Anxiety is selfish and attention seeking. So many of my relationships have been ruined by the little voice in my head constantly telling me that I am doing it all wrong and that I am ruining everything good in my life.
Anxiety will make you constantly question how it's so easy for something as small as to completely change the way you see yourself. I worked so hard to become the me I am today. I struggled through an identity crisis, heartbreaks and harmful friendships to develop into the person I strive to be -- someone strong. Anxiety will make you feel weak in one moment.
It's a toxic relationship.
But even though anxiety brings so much negativity to my everyday life, it is part of me. I know that it will never go away because taking away your anxiety is like taking a part of you away. Even though it sucks, good things about you wouldn't be there. Strength and resilience comes out of anxious people. You deal with something constantly and yet you're still here and finding those happy moments to live for.
It is up to you to be stronger than your anxiety. You need to find a way to use how anxiety makes you feel to better yourself and build up that resilience. I know that I personally need to find the people that won't turn away when I start to feel insecure, people who will help me become become the funny, strong, outgoing girl I know is the most genuine me. I know they exist because I have some of them already.
I may despise you, anxiety, but I can't and I won't let that hate translate to how I feel about myself.
