June 13th, 2009 marked my last day of eighth grade and the first day of my last summer before high school. I was so excited for the next 4 years and for everything that I would soon accomplish. To celebrate the first night of summer, my friends and I went to a carnival at the Hanover Mall. It was just your typical carnival - the sweet smells of cotton candy and candy apples filled the air, and the bright strobe lights and loud music coming from the various rides surrounding us. This is the sense I got walking into the carnival, and the sense I got two hours later, as I woke up in the arms of my friend Lauren on the ground.
As I came out of what I know now as a seizure, I looked up at Lauren, whose eyes were watering and face was bright red. She said, "You were shaking, Kellie. What do I do?" in a soft, scratchy voice. I had absolutely no clue what she meant by this, but I knew something was wrong because I was on the ground with a horrible migraine, surrounded by staring people. An EMT arrived shortly, and explained to me that I'd had what sounded to him like a seizure and that he would call an ambulance right away. Luckily, my friend's mother, also my school nurse and undercover guardian angel, was at that mall waiting for us and rushed me to Children's Hospital herself.
The ride to Children's seemed like forever and the silence made it even worse. As scary as this situation was for me, I know it was just as scary for my friends because they didn't say a word the whole car ride, which was definitely not like them. I could hear sniffles coming from the back, but that's about it. I arrived at Children's and was greeted by my parents who grabbed my hands and proceeded toward the door calmly. Nurses and doctors asked me a series of questions, put in an IV, took a CT scan, drew blood, and did an EKG.. This kind of testing went on all night. And for the next several years.
Since that summer, I have been admitted to Children's countless times for what has felt like forever. I have been through numerous EEG's, EKG's, MRI's, and other procedures to help my doctors pinpoint exactly what causes my seizures. Along with my epilepsy has also come many hard falls which led to sprained or fractured bones diagnosed through Children's Hospital Boston. For a few years I was averaging about three to four seizures a week, sometimes two in one day, until my senior year of high school when my doctors seemed to find the right medication to slow my seizures down.
Looking back I now realize that as my health was changing, so was I. Due to my ongoing health journey I became a more thankful, stronger, and hardworking person. Through my diagnosis I learned that life loves to challenge you, but God would never challenge you with something that you weren’t strong enough to handle. I had to work harder than most girls my age, both in and out of school, just to keep up with my schoolwork and social life however I never let my disorder hold me back.
Even with the everyday uncertainty of what my days will bring, I’ve managed to take advantage of every opportunity in front of me. I have some of the most amazing family and friends who have had to catch me more times than expected, but it’s because of them that I’m able to get back up each time. I’m now a senior at Merrimack College, where I excel academically and I don’t let the fear of the unknown alter my life style. I studied abroad in Galway, Ireland last Fall for 4 months, I’ve been inducted into the educational honor’s program and was recently accepted to a week- long service trip through my college. I realize now that you never know what the future holds, but through this dramatic change I have better prepared myself for the unexpected changes that await me. If there’s one thing now that I could say to my fearful little thirteen year old self it would be “you made it.”
