Are you there, anxiety?
Of course you are. You're always here. There has not been a day when you haven't been here. And that's okay, I understand that you maybe around for awhile and that it's hard to get rid of you. But you just bother me at the wrong times.
I know at 10 P.M. right before I want to go to sleep is a perfect time to stir up the fact that I have so much to do and really not that time or that I have no idea what I am going to do after college. Another favorite time for you is when I am concentrated on one thing and you like to come by and say hi at that very moment... It makes my day soooo much better!
I do "appreciate" the times we have together.
However, there are times when I wish you would just go away... You hurt my feelings and make me scared. I don't know if I can handle you around me anymore. Even though, I know it's okay for to me be around me. It doesn't change me or make me any different than anyone else.
So, I do accept you anxiety. I don't really like you, but I am learning to accept you. The world is such a big and scary place. I know you like to make 10 times that and I accept that. It's hard to not want to hate you and it's even harder to not want to hate myself, because of you. But I know that there are so many people who deal with you, so I am not alone.
I know I have tried so hard to get rid of you in so many ways... But I just want to thank you for being you. Thank you for being hard on me all these times... For the most part it helped me keep my focus on school.
It's been a tough year and I want 2017 to be better. So, if you're listing than I hope you know that although you do help out in some ways, I really could use a break. I mean a really, really long break. It's just not fair to keep sticking around for so long... I need to move on and help myself.
So, it's not you, it's me. It's all me and I don't see you in the picture now. I hope you understand.