The ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Before You Start Dating
Start writing a post
Swoon

There's ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Before You Start Dating

Without this, what's the point?

56324
There's ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Before You Start Dating

Relationships are a huge part of our culture. If you have any form of social media, you probably have seen lots of friends and family getting engaged, getting married, and getting pregnant. For a young, 21-year-old like myself, sometimes seeing those things on social media can be intimidating and can invite those unwelcome thoughts of comparison and worry.

"What if I'm destined to be alone?"

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"Why can't I be like her?"

Especially in this time of COVID-19 and quarantine, those anxious thoughts can be heightened. For me, this definitely has been the case. When I talked to a friend a couple of weeks ago about some of the anxiety I was feeling, he said something that really stuck with me. He suggested I look deeper into my desires and ask myself this crucial question...

WHY do I want to be in a relationship?

He explained it like this: Being single and isolated is just part of the process of being molded into the person I'm supposed to be one day. While that is a good and necessary thing, it can also be very lonely. My friend challenged me to think about if I want a relationship with the end goal of having a husband and a marriage, or do I just not want to be alone? Thinking in those terms, I knew instantly that I wanted a relationship with the end goal of marriage. I've always wanted to be married, have kids, have fun with my own little family unit, and so on. That is a HUGE desire for me. I also think that right now, I have that desire to not be alone, and it is clouding my judgment when it comes to my end goal, which is a normal feeling. Nobody wants to be completely alone, no matter how introverted you are.

With that loneliness comes those unwanted feelings I mentioned earlier that hides the real reason why I'm still single. It isn't because there's something wrong with me or that I'm destined to be alone with 12 cats. Just like that's not the case with you (unless part of what makes you happy is having 12 cats. Live your dream, sis!). There is someone so amazing for me and you. The bottom line is that neither you nor your future spouse is ready to make that jump into a relationship. So much personal growth has to happen before a commitment can really be made, and part of that pesky personal growth is patience.

All this to say, the desires of your heart are there for a reason.

Just stay strong, my fellow single folks! When those evil anxieties pop into your head about when you'll find "the one," just remember that the longer you wait and marinate in your singleness, the greater your ending is going to be!

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Featured

5 Artists You Need To Listen To Right Now

These artists are gonna be big one day, trust me..

7529

Get ahead of the curb now with these artists!

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How to Relax at the End of a Long Day

It's easy to take work home at the end of the day, however much you might not want to. Jobs can be stressful, and it's all too easy to let the stresses of work sneak into your relaxing time. There are lots of reasons this is easy to do, but there are several ways you can reduce stress from work, increasing your overall levels of happiness.

15296

It's easy to take work home at the end of the day, however much you might not want to. Jobs can be stressful, and it's all too easy to let the stresses of work sneak into your relaxing time. There are lots of reasons this is easy to do, but there are several ways you can reduce stress from work, increasing your overall levels of happiness.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Ten Duo Halloween Costume Ideas

Whether it be with your boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend, coming up with a group costume can be hard.

21012
allthingssupplychain.org

Let's face it. We've all, at one point or another, have struggled with finding a perfect group costume. I've come up with 10 duo costume ideas for halloween this year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey

67875

Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

95145
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments