I used to hate my skin. I used to hate the fact that I couldn't get a tan in the summer like the rest of my friends. Most importantly, I hated when people pointed out my pale skin. I cannot even count the number of times people have said "Wow, you need some sun!" or "Are you always this pale?" to me. My skin was one of my greatest insecurities, but as I've grown up, I've realized something crucial: why should it be?
When I was younger, there was nothing I wanted more than to be tan. I was jealous of the girls who didn't burn when they went out in the sun, they just got a tan. Summer was always hard for me, because when we went back to school in the fall, everyone would have a gorgeous tan and I felt like the only one whose complexion hadn't changed over the last three months.
To make it worse, everyone seemed to rub it in. People would ask if I "stayed inside all summer" or if I "hated the beach" or something. Neither of these were true. I love being outside and I love the beach, however, unlike you, I have to be a lot more careful. I tried self-tanner after self-tanner, only to find that they turned my skin orange.
People never realize how much words can hurt. Most of the time, people don't even realize that what they've just said is completely offensive. For some reason, people LOVE to comment on my skin, especially in the summer. Perhaps it's because they are insecure themselves, but that is no reason to make someone else feel insecure. I used to hate wearing a bathing suit, or even shorts, around my tan friends because someone would always manage to make me feel awful about myself. I don't think this was on purpose; I don't think anyone intentionally meant to hurt me, but they did. People think they're making an innocent joke, but a lot of what people have said about my skin over the years has stuck with me.
I always hear girls saying how they "can't wait for summer so they can be tan again." Those are words I hear practically on a weekly basis in the winter. Luckily, I have accepted my skin. I am no longer offended when people comment on my skin, because I'm happy with who I am. Contrary to the opinion of the perfectly bronzed population, I actually like my fair skin now.
Why is being tan so valued in our society? Girls get spray tans for prom, and brides get spray tans for their weddings. Victoria's Secret models have bronzed glowing skin. Yes, maybe they're photoshopped to look this way, but this just proves my point even further. Why can't people just accept that not everyone looks like that? Girls with pale skin are basically forced to hate their own skin and feel like it's not beautiful from the very beginning.
I haven't gone a day in years without wearing sunscreen. I don't try to get tan, because I just don't care anymore. Why should I feel like I have to be tan? Because people tell me I should be?
Don't tell me my skin color is '"too pale", or a word I hate even more, don't tell me my skin looks "unhealthy." I am very healthy. I take care of myself and I take care of my skin like it's my baby. I don't intend to have wrinkles at age 30 because I didn't protect my skin, and I absolutely don't intend to get skin cancer in my life because I tried to get a tan like everyone else.
Being fair-skinned has taught me more about the power of words than anything ever will; it has taught me to think more about what comes out of my own mouth. You might say something to someone and think it's completely innocent, but it might actually be really hurtful. I'm not saying that people should censor everything that they say. I don't believe that at all. No matter what you say, someone will probably be offended. I just simply believe that we shouldn't judge others by their appearance, and by things that they cannot change. I don't think that is at all unreasonable.
Being fair-skinned has taught me about accepting myself; it has taught me how to love what I've been given. There is no reason to tell someone that they aren't beautiful because they don't have an olive complexion or tan-lines. There is no reason to tell someone that they aren't beautiful because they're different from you.
