I'm 25, and medicated, and okay with it. I'm a mom, working full time, and I'm medicated, and I am truly okay with it. I have been taking Zoloft for my anxiety for a year now, and I'm now telling myself that I am okay with it. It was something I had to adjust to, but I've never made such an important decision for myself.
So many people have "anxiety," but I'd like to tell you about mine. I've had anxiety all my life, thanks to a gene that is passed along from your mother. Mine was, and is non stop. It's not that I can't be in big rooms, but the amount of stress I carry with me, day in and day out puts my emotions through a loop. Beyond the heavy elephant sitting on my chest, beyond being on edge, and just closed in on the inside.
It would become so intense that I felt like I was on the S.S Minow for that three hour tour, lost in the storm about to ship wreck on an uncharted desert isle. I had talked to my parents when I was younger, but explaining to someone who doesn't have that kind of feeling never really gets it. I lived with it, I loved with it, until I decided it was time to get it under control. I took myself to the doctors, and it was easy as that, I was prescribed and sent on my way. (This is a doctor I've been seeing since I was an infant, so I trust him immensely.) But let me assure you, I was a little uncomfortable; something that is engineered to "balance" my brain, how is that going to feel? What if it changes me? What if this is the best thing that I've ever done for myself? Something yoga, weed and any kind of therapy couldn't fix. Zoloft was exactly what my emotions needed.
Granted, it took me a good week to get use to the feeling, but the first thing I told to my fiancé , after my body was adjusted, was "so this is what normalcy feels like?" and that's exactly what it was. No more daily sea sickness, no more panic, no more nothing. It was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. Even how bad it had gotten after my son, I felt so light, so relaxed, truly relaxed, and balanced. To those of you who are battling with anxiety and depression, explore your options. Help yourself, help your mind.
Zoloft may not be for you, it may be something else, maybe yoga. We need to help ourselves. We are the only ones who can make the changes in our lives, and life is too short to be sad, and anxious.
Beyond that rain cloud, there is true sunshine.
