I feel for most people, they never had an aha moment where they realized they had anixety, they've just always had it. I mean, I could just be completely wrong. For me there was a moment. There was a change in myself that started a ripple of effects, that lead me to believe there was seriously something wrong with me. It was the beginning of ninth grade when my first panic attack surfaced. I was silently freaking out. My first panic attack was the worst, I really had no idea what the hell was going on. I went outside to take some deep breaths, but with everything in my body speeding up, so were my thoughts. You really start to think you are dying, and I just couldn't get myself to get out of this world of anxiousness. But I didn't know what I was anxious about. There was nothing going on in my life at that very moment that would fill me up with stress to this point. That was just the beginning. The next one was at camp that summer. As I waited online to serve my bunk, I felt like there was a rope around my neck. My friend came with me outside as I tried to relax myself but just couldn't. I snuck off to the infirmary, and slept it off. My parents told me that maybe it was about the fact that I was taking harder classes in 10th grade, but that's just not something I stress about. I couldn't find a conclusion. 

My anxiety started to control my life for about a month or two in 10th grade. I would constantly think about, forcing me into having more anxiety. I was in a round-about that felt like I would never get out. From waking up in a panic, to always feeling on edge, I didn't know how to express it to anyone, so I silently dealt with it. At parties I would go alone to a room, and tell myself to stop freaking out. I just couldn't help but thinking why is this happening all of the damn time. 

Slowly but surely, I learned that this was normal. Plenty of people have anxiety and that seemed to calm me down a lot. But for all who have anxiety and silently deal with it as well, just know that there is always someone who cares. I don't really get much anxiety anymore, except when I overthink my life away. But I do sometimes get random quick panic attacks, and I've learned who I can talk to when they are happening. During my senior skip day at the beach, I felt extremely anxious, started freaking out and made my boyfriend go up to the boardwalk with me. Talking me out of it, giving me hugs, and calling my sister made me feel so much better. Having someone there will almost always help. But if not, here are a few ways that I coped with my anxiety and how I made it better.

1. Tea. Tea solves all problems, seriously. Even if you don't like it, don't want it, try it. The warmth of the tea will make you calm, feeling like you are in a safe place. There are also different kinds of tea that will help. Some of my favorites are  Yogi Kava Tea, Tazo Calm Chamomile Tea, Honey Vanilla Chamomile tea, and Yogi blueberry tea. But find your favorites and use them whenever you need a sense of calmness.

2. Write it out. This one as much as I would like it to help, doesn't do the BEST job. Just because you are already so flustered it is kind of hard to think and write. But it does help to decipher why you are feeling these things.

3. Look around you, and try and name 5 things you see, 5 things you can touch, and 5 things you can  smell. Getting your mind to think about something else will really help you in the long run.

4. Have someone hold you just for a good amount of time. If you are with anyone you are truly comfortable with, ask them for a period of time just to hug you. I know it sounds super weird, but human contact makes you feel safe. It makes you feel like someone cares, and if you are in full panic mode when your body is shaking, it will allow you to have some security. 

5. Watch something funny. Seriously, go find your favorite movie, favorite t.v. and get distracted.

6. Realize that this happens to so many people. Knowing that others experience the same thing as you, and you are not the only one, will take a load off your chest.

7. Play with your hair. Stupid, but it actually helps. I swear by it. 

8. Something that I've always done that's helped is to do something with a body part. I roll my shoulders back and forth, just because its become a habit. For someone that really really knows me, knows that when im dealing with anxiety im always rolling my shoulders. 

9. Call someone! Get someone to take your mind off things, tell them how you're feeling. Getting the words out of your mouth will always help. 

10. Just breathe. The best way to cope. Take deep breaths in and out. Everything will be okay I promise. Realize that this is just life, nothing is too serious. Breathe.