You know how you watch those Rom-Coms and wonder how they got there? They are usually friends that got old and freaked out so they got together. No one will admit to it being a last resort thing, but you know they signed a contract back in college. Then there are the co-workers who share the same hatred for their boss that builds into too much sexual tension in the copy room. Friends-with-benefits who, lets face it, drank their way there and they eventually develop the feels after exchanging all sorts of other things (insert side-smirk emoji here). Or they have that moment where they are “just a girl in the bar” who wasn’t looking for anything (Grey’s Anatomy fans where you at?).

How do you ever “not look"? I can remember this one time, the day before my freshman year of college, I prayed to God and told him that I was content with Him and only Him if that is what he had planned for me for the rest of my life. Little did God know, I was fooling him and hoping that because I said that He would bring a man into my life. Plot twist: He did, but he turned out to be a little turd. Good one God, you got me. I am no feminist that wants the world in the palm of her hand with no help from a man. My God, I will take all the help I can get, especially from a hunky man who is willing to clean my pipes and get his hands dirty (don’t read into that too much, sorry mom). So of course, I’m looking... but I’m not.

Well, what happens when you really aren’t looking because you are already committed? So committed that there’s a wedding date, future is planned to the extent that a 20 year-old can handle, and something hits you in the face. Something like your best friend and makes you realize it’s not what you were looking for (did you catch the play on words?).

I’ll save you all the sob story (maybe another article in the future), but it resulted in a man’s broken heart and another man’s heart fulfilled, and I was the one to blame. Who deems us qualified for this kind of ish? How in the midst of just trying to be a college student and enjoy all that life has to offer, you make and break people and their plans they had for themselves? What about the plan I had for myself? Seriously, I am not qualified for this ish.

Okay, so you’re sitting there asking, “What’s your point Dew, whatcha gettin’ at?” I’ve learned a lot from dating, and I am sitting here saying this as a 21-year-old, I love throwing myself out there and seeing what happens. I am the queen of dipping out really quickly when it comes to dating and relationships, because I know what I want or I at least have an idea of it. I get a lot of backlash for this, that I am too insensitive and that I am just messing with guys' hearts. It's always my fault that everything happened, but why should we be obligated to hold onto things that we realize aren’t right for us? I have zero regrets with the men I have dated because I’ve learned something from each one, and isn’t that what dating is? Figuring out what you want for yourself, because eventually it ends up in a happily-ever-after, till death do us part sort of deal. I am a firm believer in the "death do us part" part, that I hold very true to my heart. So why am I being looked down upon for protecting my heart?

Who makes anyone qualified to judge this ish?

I adore love stories. I am a romantic through and through and I believe every story of how a couple came to be together is beautiful because it is their story. I think hiccups and bumps along the way build trust and character. I believe embarrassing moments makes the heart grow fonder. More than anything, I think everyone is allowed to do anything they want in their own life to get the love they deserve.

For me personally, I’ve told myself my whole life that I will never be with a man on this Earth unless he shows me a tangible view of God’s love through loving me. I have compromised that every time… that is until now and what a sweet, sweet love that it is. I deserve that. Hard decisions are hard because you know its right. Stop denying yourself of whatever it is in life that you think you aren’t qualified for, because trust me my dear, no one is qualified enough to stop you.