You've probably read the awfully fake positive tweets and Instagram posts that are all about motivation and self-love, but it's bullshit. I am here to tell you that self-love on the internet is bullshit.
Self-love is praised and seen as confidence and sexy, but people actually take offense to it. I could tweet right now about how finding myself was hard, but I got there, and I sure as hell love myself now. I would get retweets and likes, but in real life, ya know, behind the screen of my phone, people would call me a narcissist.
I've been called a narcissist my entire life. For what? Because I love myself? So many young women (and men) constantly battle with insecurities and comparisons, and I knew from a young age I didn't want to live that way. I don't want to hate myself or compare every single inch of skin on my body to someone else's that I've never even met before. My skin looks good on me.
I didn't care if someone was taller or skinnier or tanner than me. I am taller, skinnier, and tanner than other people in this world; however, I'm also shorter, fatter, and a LOT paler than most people in this world too. That's okay. I am beautiful.
I'm not saying I don't have insecurities because I do. I really do. Everyone does. My biggest insecurity is the size of my calves. My calves. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I am sad that I don't have scrawny legs. I am sad I can't wrap my hand around the width of my legs. I am sad that I have a birthmark on the back of my left leg because to me, I have the widest legs in the world, so that birthmark must look like a drawing of a continent on a map you could find on google images.
This all sounds ridiculous, right? I was terrified to wear shorts or dresses in public up until about a year ago because god forbid someone would see my pale calves. Ya know, the ones I mentioned before? The calves that happen to be shorter, fatter, and paler than most calves.
I've never met someone that didn't like me because of the size of my calves.
Girls are mean. We all know this. Teenage girls are like a breed of their own. I thought if I loved everything about myself, no one could bring me down. And for once, I'm actually right about that. I've been called names and talked badly about, but I just don't care because I genuinely do not care what people think of me, and some people have a hard time with that. It takes so long for most people to get to that point, but I'm lucky enough to have never really cared about what anyone else thought. That makes me a narcissist, right?
According to the internet, narcissists don't react well to suggestions or criticism. I believe I take criticism pretty well. Not that I get a lot of criticism. (That was a joke). According to the internet, narcissists are competitive. 100%. I will beat you at being narcissistic any day. Try me. (Another joke, calm down). According to the internet, narcissists love mirrors so much they tend to get into car accidents because their rear-view mirror serves more self-fulfilling purposes than for driving purposes. That's just whack. But since everything on the internet is true and I tend to be called a narcissist frequently, I must definitely be a narcissist.
If loving yourself means being a narcissist then hell yeah I'm a narcissist, and I love it. Just like I love myself.