“No offense, but I’ve never met a black woman who doesn't eat,” says my boyfriend and I start to feel like a mutant. As if I am this anomaly, a unicorn among horses. But not like a cool unicorn, just one that has a baby horn on its head and is really thin because it does not eat enough. I am a sickly unicorn, a black woman with an eating disorder; and according to my boyfriend, black women like me somehow do not exist. However, what if that is not true? What if there’s this world of sickly unicorns who want help, but cannot achieve it because we have not seen another black person speak out on overcoming their eating disorder (ED)?
When I first had an ED, I was 14; and when I went through remission, I heard many say it was a "white woman’s disease.” As if the issues and pressures society places on body image is something that could affect only white women. Black women long have been pressured to conform to society’s standards of beauty, and our Western society often pushes for thin as the body type for a woman. (Well, not only thin, thin yet thick, acquiring both a Beyoncé booty and Kate Upton’s breast, while remaining a size 2 at most.) As I went through remission, I could not help but feel I had done something wrong as a black woman, I was not supposed to have an ED. This is the stigma that I believe is preventing a high number of black women (and men) from reporting they even have an eating disorder.
The black community must begin having healthy discussions that are not blaming victims for their disorders, or making them feel as if they are alone. I believe once we address that eating disorders are not simply a “white woman’s disease,” then many black individuals can step forward and get the help they need.
Though I would like to report the statistics on the black community regarding EDs, the problem is that EDs are understudied and researchers gather very little information from the black community. Many do not even realize they have an eating disorder because they cannot define them, or they think an ED is only when you starve yourself. Eating disorders are more than simply not eating enough (anorexia nervosa); they can range from overeating (binge eating), forcing oneself to throw up (bulimia nervosa), to monitoring what you eat. If you are eating too much, or you realize you are an emotional eater, you may have an eating disorder. If you count calories or weigh yourself frequently, you may have an eating disorder. If you find yourself forcing yourself to throw up what you eat or feeling ashamed after you eat, you may have an eating disorder. Of course, these are not the only signs, but realize you can get help and you are not alone.
I am a 20-year-old African American woman, and I had to realize two months ago that I had an ED again. I am not a sickly unicorn; I am receiving the help that I need and so can you. It is not a white woman’s disease. It is a universal disorder that does not see gender, age, or skin color.
If you believe you have an eating disorder, take it seriously, and please call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.
A great short film that examines the recovery period following an eating disorder is “Civil War Sickness” by Isa Gueye.
Other resources on the topic:
Eating Disorders in Women of Color: Explanations and Implications | National Eating Disorders Association.
Eating Disorders in White and Black Women.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner: Eating Disorders in African Americans.
