May is Mental Health month, but according to NAMI, October 2-8 is also National Mental Illness Awareness week, which is great. As a psych major (and as a human being in general), I fully support the raising of awareness and reduction of stigmas around mental illnesses. But with all of this talk about mental illnesses, I feel like I need to clarify something.

Mental illness is not cool.

I know it sounds cool. It sounds edgy, deep, even romantic. With all of the books written and movies about mental illnesses, the emotional stories and heart-wrenching songs, and the awareness being raised and celebrities “coming out” so to speak, well, it makes you feel left out. We’re millennials. We need to be special. We don’t let labels define us, but this is a label we want because it’s currently trending. And we were taught we can have everything in the world if only we believe it.

I don’t think that was ever meant to apply to mental illnesses.

You can’t "give" yourself a mental illness any more than you can "give" yourself something like leukemia. You can’t see the symptoms, replicate them, and then claim to have it. Just because it’s “all in your head” does not make it any less of an actual illness.

I’m not trying to shame anyone with a mental illness, the people who are brave enough to speak about their journey and raise awareness or the ones who have not reached that point. I’m talking to the people who pretend they have one for the attention or because it makes them feel like people care. I’m talking to the people who hear about famous people with anxiety and they’re like, “Hey, I’ve felt nervous before. I totally have anxiety. I’m just like that person!” I'm talking to the people who look at the media's portrayal of mental illness and think all it is is producing scars and beautiful sad songs. I’m talking to people who take away from the real problem of mental illness by pretending it’s a problem they have.

I’ll give you an example using synesthesia. First, I know synesthesia is not a mental illness. It’s a neurological phenomenon. I am just using it to demonstrate the bandwagon effect. About half a year ago, Rhett & Link talked about synesthesia on Good Mythical Morning. Watch the video here, if you want. They took a couple tests to see if they had certain types of synesthesia, which was fine. What bothered me was the comments section.

The internet is not known for having sincere, thoughtful comments, but I’m pretty sure the majority of the people were not trolls. The problem was that basically everyone in the comments was like, “OMG I THINK HAVE SYNESTHESIA BECAUSE [some vague symptom] THIS IS AMAZING.” And while I am happy for anyone who now has a name for and better understanding of these sensations, not even 5% of the population has synesthesia and I’m supposed to believe they all happen to be watching this video? It could happen, I guess, but I’m skeptical this video was a magical synesthete convention and not just a lot of people trying to too hard to be special.

Of course, random people on the internet are not the only ones who jump on a bandwagon and don't understand how your brain might actually affect your way of living. Back in 2014, Meghan Trainor said this:

I have many responses to that, but they’re not exactly appropriate. Let me just say that she is so wrong. She thinks having anorexia exhibits strength and self-control, that it's something you actively start and stop according to your whims. This misconception comes from someone who is supposedly a role model for positive body image. (On a tangent, I’m just going to say, curvy girls, you deserve so much better than someone who unwittingly uses her platform to perpetuate lies about something as life-threatening as eating disorders. Like, yes, she “ain’t no size 2,” but that doesn’t automatically make her a good role model.)

The sad thing is, I know people who think like this, who believe that all anorexia is is not eating, that it’s about willpower and not some bigger problem. And that’s how it is for other mental illnesses: people see the outside, the symptoms, the actions, but they do not understand what goes on in the head.

Spoiler alert: Depression? It’s more than being sad all the time. Eating disorders? They’re more than just eating too much or too little. Anxiety? It's more than feeling nervous about something. Mental illnesses are more than their symptoms. Surprise! Mental illnesses are not and will never be choices.

Mental illnesses are not romantic or quirky; they’re debilitating. They’re not a badge to wear proudly; they’re something you grit and bear because you have no other choice. I’ve known too many people who suffer from actual mental illnesses and far too many more who have faked the suffering because they want people to care.

I am all for raising awareness, but while I don't want people to stigmatize mental illnesses, romanticizing them is not the way to combat the stigmas. All romanticizing does is take away from the actual significance of mental illnesses and those who suffer from mental illnesses. I propose we treat mental illness with the seriousness it deserves, not shying away from talking about it while also not glorifying it into something it's not. I propose we teach people the truth about mental illness. Because in the end, what good is raising awareness if the people are only aware of misconceptions?